I finally return to work today. I admit that I am a bit nervous for a couple of reasons: The first is that I have been out of work for more than six months. Even though the struggle for a job is over, all those no’s have left scars. Second, my new employer is a much smaller company than my previous employers. I’m sure the culture will be considerably different. The last six months have taught me that it is much harder to land a job the older I get. I’ve been told that I sound much younger on the phone. That, along with my qualifications, have gotten me a lot of interviews. I could see in the hiring managers’ eyes that they expected a thirty-something and not me. I don’t look old, but I don’t look thirty or even forty. I think that’s the reason I am worried. It’s clear that if this job doesn’t work out, it is unlikely I will find another.
My concerns have affected my interest in sex. Saturday Mrs. Lion played with me. It felt good, but I just couldn’t get further. I’m writing this on Sunday afternoon. I know she will be trying again tonight. I hope that my interest will return. I’m still wild. Truth is, I am so used to the cage that I forget I am not wearing it. Only when I reach down to “adjust” do I remember there is no steel there. I don’t know when she will hand me the ring and I go back into my Jail Bird. Right now I’m not thinking about that at all.
When I was first locked up, I was surprised at how many guys writing posts or forum entries were unlocked. They were all practicing enforced chastity for several years. My chastity device was an exciting part of the way I felt about our new kink. I couldn’t understand how those other guys were still chaste if they weren’t caged all the time. Now I get it. After 20 months of being caged, the physical device is no longer required to assure that I will abstain. It surprises me that I have been so thoroughly conditioned. Does this mean that I no longer should be caged?
Mrs. Lion and I have spoken about this. I’ve given it a lot of thought. When we first started, the device assured that I wouldn’t masturbate. It also reminded Mrs. Lion that I was totally dependent on her for sexual attention. It also provided a tangible symbol of Mrs. Lion’s power that I couldn’t ignore. It worked perfectly for us. Now, we both understand that the cage is not needed to keep me from playing with myself or to remind Mrs. Lion to give me sexual attention. That’s working fine. I think the cage has a new contribution to us. It’s now a sexual tool that Mrs. Lion can use to provide positive and negative feedback to me as needed.
Let me explain. When I am locked up, it is clear that there is no chance of sex; none. If I am with Mrs. Lion and locked up, I understand that unless she takes the key out, sex isn’t happening. When I am wild, she can see if I am obviously interested. True, she can still ignore my arousal, but historically she yields to temptation. I also have to admit I like the feeling that I have no choice about sex. When I am wild, even though I wouldn’t, I have the ability to jerk off. When I am locked up, there is no chance for that or anything else. OK, OK, it’s also a kink of mine. I love bondage. The chastity device is sexual bondage. ‘Nuff said.
But there is a different feeling about being locked up around here. Mrs. Lion can reward me by letting me stay wild for a while. She can also let me know if she is less than thrilled by not unlocking me for a few days. There is a cost if she does leave me locked. When she finally decides to play with me, it will be more difficult to get me aroused. At least that is our experience so far. The chastity device is evolving in the way we use it. Exactly how Mrs. Lion decides to treat it has yet to be revealed. Stay tuned.