Between Won’t and Can’t

There is an immense chasm between “won’t” and “can’t”. Won’t is an act of will; or perhaps, an act of love. Before enforced chastity, I wouldn’t cheat on my lioness. I never had a desire for anyone else. That’s love. After being locked into a chastity device, won’t became can’t. I can’t masturbate. I can’t have sex unless Mrs. Lion releases me. It takes some time for the real meaning of “can’t” to sink in. It changes everything. Before, if I saw an attractive woman I would imagine how it would be to have sex with her. Then I would tell myself that it isn’t worth it. I have the love of my life. Screwing a stranger will feel terrible and hurt both of us. Now, however, in the same situation, I just think, “I can’t have sex with her. She doesn’t have the key.” My first thought goes to “can’t”, not “won’t”. That doesn’t mean that if I am wild (unlocked) that I would have sex with her. It just means that my thoughts will be that I don’t want to because it isn’t worth it. Without free will there is no reason why I would even consider whether or not I would want to have sex with her. I can’t. That instantly shuts the topic down. Sometimes when I realize I have lost my free will, it makes me want to be free again.

It stands to reason that after 20 months in a chastity device, there may be times I am less excited about enforced chastity than others. There are days that I wonder why I wanted my penis locked into a chastity device. In the beginning there was a real sexual thrill about the penis bondage. I know that many guys masturbate imagining their cocks locked tightly out of reach. Let’s face it, this is one hot fantasy. The reality, at least for me during the first months, reality was  every bit as hot as the fantasy. There comes a day, actually lots of days, when I wake up, sit down to pee, and wonder what I got myself into. It’s not that the device is uncomfortable. I hardly ever feel that the Jail Bird is there at all. I think it is more the realization that I have lost control.

You would be right to point out that I asked to surrender control. I am getting exactly what I wanted. I am always aware of that. The fact is that I wouldn’t masturbate without permission, device or no device. I wouldn’t have sex with anyone other than my lioness. That’s been true since I met her. So what’s the problem? It’s simple. I can’t masturbate or have sex with anyone unless Mrs. Lion unlocks my cock. I’ve gone from “won’t” to “can’t”. If my behavior wouldn’t change whether I’m locked or not, it shouldn’t matter, especially since the device is completely comfortable to wear. The fact is that the only change not wearing a device makes in my life is that I can pee standing up. That’s so trivial that I spend no time pining away for a standing pee.

The entire purpose of bondage is to remove choice from the person being restrained. If I am tied down, I can’t escape anything being done to me. There’s that “can’t” word again. Of course, I do get tied down once and a while and I love it. It’s really hot to feel that vulnerability. I can’t escape. That’s hot! The fact I am in 24/7 bondage with a chastity device locked on me is generally exciting to me. Reaching down and feeling that cage generally gives me a little twinge as I realize my sexual vulnerability. Still, there are times, particularly just after I wake up in the morning, when I sigh inwardly and wonder at my sanity for wanting to be locked in this chastity device.

Having that feeling doesn’t change anything. I know that Mrs. Lion isn’t going to unlock me because I am feeling tired of being in a cage. She’s seen the improvement locking me up has made in our marriage. She isn’t going to be very impressed by my weariness at being in the cage. She knows that sooner or later I will remember why I am locked up and feel good about enforced chastity. I am a little surprised that I never feel annoyed at being caged because I am very horny. I just don’t associate being in a chastity device with my unfulfilled need to ejaculate. Logically, that should be the only reason I would want out. But I know that if I am unlocked, I still won’t get myself off. I have to wait for Mrs. Lion’s pleasure. The cage neither helps nor hinders my ability to abstain until allowed to ejaculate. But it does change the “won’t” into “can’t”. That’s both hot and very frustrating.


  1. Author

    It’s funny to come at things from a completely different angle. I read this and thought that if I were going to write it, from my own perspective, I would use the positives. I would use can and will.

    Within our FLR, I tell Snake that he will do things because I trust his dedication. Within our D/s, I tell Snake that he can do things because I trust his submission. I guess it’s just the difference between looking at things from a caged vs. keyholder perspective. 🙂

    1. Author

      That is a very interesting perspective. The point of my post has nothing to do with what I actually do. There was never a question that I wouldn’t submit.The point is how I think about my submission. For me it is much more powerful to feel that I can’t do something due to bondage; in this case my cage. Even though I would never cheat, my feelings about my obedience are quite different when I am locked up.

      In our case the cage isn’t there to assure my compliance. I know that Mrs. Lion trusts me and knows I will do the right thing. It’s about how the cage makes me feel. For the keyholder I think it is more powerful to see the caged male abstain without any physical restraint. That reflects her power rather than the device’s. For me, as a caged male, the loss of choice that the cage imposes is a more potent expression of my keyholder’s power.

      I agree that it is a matter of perspective. It’s ironic that the most potent expression of keyholder power is obedience without the cage that essentially defines enforced chastity.

  2. Author

    I understand what you were saying. It’s just that I rarely think in negatives–can’ts and won’ts. The words just rarely are used. And I totally agree that it is the cage for a male that imposes the power while for the keyholder it is the obedience that shows power.

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