The essence of enforced chastity is sexual control As a caged male, I have surrendered control to Mrs. Lion. That’s no surprise to anyone. As we have both been writing over the last few days, our relationship has improved along with restoration of sexual activity. This has puzzled both of us. Yesterday, in her post, Mrs. Lion discussed how her approach has changed as a result of enforced chastity. She’s right. It’s been amazing. I have a slightly different take on this. I think that enforced chastity and FLM have leveled the playing field and as a result, allowed Mrs. Lion to say things she would have never expressed in the past.

In many ways we are opposites. I am a take-charge sort of guy and she is laid back and accepting. Mrs. Lion would rather endure something she doesn’t want rather than expressing her dislike. So, I would end up driving everything my way; not out of selfishness or the need to control, but because there were never objections. I thought I was doing what we both want. I wasn’t. The two of us were doing exactly the wrong things. The fact that we love each other so much and we get along so well kept us happily married. But under the surface there were bad feelings.

As Mrs. Lion wrote, because I wouldn’t initiate sex, she decided to do nothing on her part. The result was no sex for a very long time. We both felt badly about it, but for our individual reasons, we never talked about it. When I discovered inexpensive, easy-to-wear chastity devices in 2013, it revived my interest in enforced chastity. I’ve written about that in the past. Spurred on by being very horny and my long interest in male chastity, I asked Mrs. Lion if she would try enforced chastity with me. She agreed.

After we started enforced chastity things started to change. I want to be careful to emphasize that things started to change, not our natures. I remained the take-charge, sometimes-toddler lion. Mrs. Lion was still the accepting, make-no-waves lioness. The thing is that our agreement to pursue our particular flavor of enforced chastity required us to behave differently. I agreed to surrender and Mrs. Lion agreed to take charge. We established domestic discipline for offenses. None of that guaranteed we would actually change our patterns. But if we failed to change, we couldn’t escape admitting our failure.

What we didn’t realize was that the very things that pushed us apart would work to keep us going with enforced chastity. Mrs. Lion’s desire to make me happy and to go along with things assured that she would continue keeping me caged. My strong personality and desire to try chastity would have me “suggesting” things to Mrs. Lion and otherwise pushing her to take charge. Over time, Mrs. Lion actually began to take charge. She filtered my “suggestions” and spanked me for being petulant or too bossy. Much more importantly, she has begun to tell me when things I do upset her. A perfect example of this was when I grumbled about doing all the work around the house. The next day she let me know that I was wrong. She pointed out how much she does, and said that she should have spanked me for my behavior. She didn’t. But she recognized that she should. The quiet, accepting lioness was learning to growl.

This is the change that I think makes enforced chastity and FLM successful for us. The weaknesses that in the past got between us, are now front and center. More importantly, we have a mechanism we agreed on to handle these issues. We haven’t changed all that much yet, but it’s clear that we are changing. It’s also clear that she won’t turn into a super strict dominatrix, or that I will become a weak submissive. We are moving toward the center. We are learning to talk about things that we never discussed before. We are both happier now.