Men Don’t Need Orgasms

Yesterday, Mrs. Lion wrote in her post about a video camera I acquired. She said it is a webcam. It’s not. Actually it’s a security camera that sends what it sees to the cloud. Currently, it can saves the latest 24 hours. I got this to offer some protection if anyone attempts to get into our house. A phone app allows access to the camera for a live feed or to review any of the recorded video. Mrs. Lion has been using this to verify that I am always naked at home. When we go away, it will provide us with the ability to monitor things at home. It has motion sensing. Mrs. Lion uses that feature to find when the dog or I are in range. I guess it really is Lion TV.

It’s no secret that the majority of people who read blogs and forums about enforced chastity and FLM are males. In the case of our blog, about 80% of oue readers are male; at least that’s what Google estimates. I have no idea how they would know.  but it is close to what I figured. Many sites have over 95% male readers; the more explicit the sexual content the lower the percentage of female readers. Not very surprising when you think about it. According to most of the stuff you find on the web promotes the idea that when a male surrenders control, sexual or otherwise, he immediately begins doing things like housework or wearing panties. The reason I dislike it so much is the underlying assumption that any task or item of clothing associated with women represents a loss of status (and power) when assumed by a man.

There is one element in most of these fantasies that does seem to agree with real life: Many caged males do provide far more orgasms to their keyholders than they receive themselves. It isn’t unusual for the woman to have 20 or more orgasms for each one her male gets. That’s not true in our case. Unfortunately Mrs. Lion still hasn’t regained her libido. When she does, I’m positive I will be providing far more orgasms than I will experience. I don’t think it is because somehow giving without getting orgasms is necessarily submissive or humiliating. I think it is because of two things: First, the male has very limited opportunities for orgasms; enforced chastity by definition limits orgasms. Second, the power exchange frees his partner to experience worry- and guilt-free orgasms. She no longer has to worry about reciprocation nor feel bad if she doesn’t get him off. He has asked her not to get him off.

I recently read a post in a blog written by someone who claims to be a female, that men should only have orgasms if needed to impregnate their partners.She says otherwise male orgasms are unnecessary. She also claims that females have a biological imperative to have as many orgasms as possible. Her  theory is that a woman’s orgasm lasts longer and helps in bonding and emotional attachment. Men, on the other hand, come quickly and forget about the experience almost immediately. The theory she is advancing is that a woman should lock up her husband and never let him come again. I bother to write about this because a lot of guys and a few women actually buy into this. There is no science behind this crap. It’s just another chastity fantasy.

As far as I can see, most couples who actually practice enforced chastity and FLM do not live in some sort of D/S fantasy. They are normal people who work, play, love, have children, pay bills, and laugh like vanilla couples. Mrs. Lion and I have a loving marriage. I will do anything for her; not because we practice enforced chastity and FLM, but because I love her. Even before we considered such things, I felt the same way. We share chores and make important decisions together. We snuggle and laugh. I know she will do anything for me as well. We like the power exchange because it has brought us closer sexually. I’m hoping the FLM will encourage her to be more selfish and give me more chances to do things to make her happy. It’s not your basic D/S fantasy at all. It’s two people in love doing things that work for them. That’s plenty for us.



  1. Author

    We don’t practice enforced chastity in our marriage, but I still average 20 orgasms to his one so it does happen in all kinds of relationships. 😉

    I didn’t see the post you’re referencing from the woman who doesn’t think men should come. I don’t happen to agree with that either, but for some reason, I’m really bothered that you said “there’s no science behind this crap.” Since when is chastity about science? None of these games we play are about science. They are about sharing fantasies, developing a new way to interact with our partners to get closer, etc.

    I’m really happy that you and Lioness have found something that works for you. It seems sometimes you forget that there’s no “one twue way.” Who cares if her husband never comes? No skin off my nose or yours.


    Have a great weekend!

    1. Author

      I am very sure there are many approaches. What bothered me about the “no orgasms” post was its reliance on fake science and its prescriptive approach saying, “All males shouldn’t have orgasms…” There are people out there who might actually believe it.

      1. Author

        Could you link me to the post you’re talking about?

    2. Author

      The poster claimed there was science behind permanent denial of male orgasm. I wrote about her basis. I have no issue with people who practice permanent abstinence. That is a choice. I just can’t abide someone saying that science or God, for that matter, wants men to only come for procreation.

  2. Author

    > I recently read a post in a blog written by someone who claims to be a female, that men should only have orgasms if needed to impregnate their partners.She says otherwise male orgasms are unnecessary. She also claims that females have a biological imperative to have as many orgasms as possible. Her theory is that a woman’s orgasm lasts longer and helps in bonding and emotional attachment.

    People are funny. With all of the actual, good, scientific information that’s available via 10 minutes of web searching, they still love to make up things that fit their own little world view.

  3. Author

    I agree with Nerdy Dirty Girl about our sexual fantasies having nothing to do with science. They are ‘fantasies’, period. They are sexual needs that some people feel and have, and as such those needs and feelings do not have to answer to science.

    I mean, heck, having pleasure and laughing or just generally having a good time seeing friends is not something for which we need the approval of science.

    I am male and I try to have as few orgasms as is possible when I masturbate or fuck my wife. She will always have an orgasm or more when she and I fuck. If I have an orgasm, it is just because I had an ‘accident’. If I could avoid these accidents (which happen once every two months or so), I would be quite fine to live the rest of my life without ever having an orgasm again… while giving my wife as many orgasms as she wants.

    I don’t know why this feels right to me or why this is what I desire, but this is just how I feel and desire things to be.

    I have read the post that is referred to here. I don’t go for that person’s reasons for disallowing male orgasms. I think the only reason that is sufficient is this one: because it is erotic, it is sexy for that particular man and woman who are involved sexually.

    Now I love science and am very interested in science. But I will not let it run my life (save when it comes to health issues: I do not smoke, for example). I think that there is a realm that is beyond the reach of science and that realm is the moral real, but also the erotic realm. There is where I stand. Scientists can show an interest in the erotic (and the moral) realms. It can do research in that field, but the erotic — and the moral — supersedes the field of science. That, by the way, is Immanuel Kant 101.

    Oh, and by the way, I love your blog.

  4. Author

    Hmmm… Have several thoughts based on our experiences in male chastity and FLR. The first thing is, at least with what we see on our site, seems to be really different statistics on readership and I’m not sure why that would be (male vs. female). We tend to see that we have a lot of female readers and it doesn’t change at all when things are more sexually explicit. Weird how different they are.

    The housework “fantasy” depends a great deal, I think, on what is agreed upon by each couple. Snake does probably 90-95% of the housework. Is it because he is locked up? No. It is because he likes to take care of me and it is within the framework of our FLR. It isn’t a loss of status or anything else. It is what works for our dynamic.

    I do see the worry- and guilt-free orgasm rationale differently. Even before we started practicing male chastity, our ratios were always skewed in my favor. I am multi-orgasmic so it would be odd if they weren’t. In addition, I’ve never felt guilty about having orgasms and Snake not. Maybe that makes me sound selfish, but within a D/s framework? It is reality.

    We practice orgasm control, not denial. That said, I think there are couples out there who do truly practice denial. Maybe not the majority, but they are all valid if they work for the couple. IMHO.

    1. Author

      When Mrs. Lion had her libido, the ratio was skewed way in her favor. Like you, she had many orgasms to my one. As I think about it, a more correct way to express my thought is “orgasm sessions” rather than the number of female orgasms. Counting these as a prerequisite to the caged male’s orgasm would make him very eager to provide sexual services very frequently. Of course, this could get pretty annoying to his keyholder…”Want to have an orgasm now?” (Wait five minutes)”How about, now?”

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