Enforced male chastity and wife led marriage are pretty selfish from the man’s point of view. The obvious assumption is that the man is giving up control and submits to his wife. That sounds like the woman is the one who wins. But that’s not true. In reality, the woman gets a whole lot of extra work to do. The theoretical benefits of less work and more orgasms are male fantasies. I would give Mrs. Lion all the orgasms she wants with or without these kinks. We continue to share the work at home. The bottom line is that Mrs. Lion has a lot more work to do thanks to my request to be locked up.
Over the last year I have thought about our activities from different directions. No matter which way I look at it, Mrs. Lion is giving and I am taking. She has considerable extra work to do in order to properly manage and control me. I know why she does it: because she knows it makes me happy and secure. I know her hard work is driven by love for me. But there is a very big difference between knowing and accepting.
Mrs. Lion means more to me than anything in the world. The last thing I want to do is make her life more difficult. Yet, over the last year, that’s exactly what I have done. All this time I have been hoping she would discover some benefits that would add to her happiness. That hasn’t happened. I suspect that this is the case for others as well. Does that mean at some point, instead of bringing us closer, enforced chastity will push us apart? Will my guilt at not being able to reciprocate make me want to stop?
I’ve seen this dilemma before. It occurs in any long-term, power-exchange relationship. Contrary to popular belief, the dominant partner almost always gets the short end of the stick. Even if the top loves the rush of power, over time that rush disappears and the dominant role just becomes routine. Then, it becomes painful to the top to be in a relationship that has a strong basis in what is, essentially, an agreement to perform work. I don’t think that will ever happen to Mrs. Lion and me. The core of our relationship is our enduring love for one another.
I don’t want our power exchange to turn into a chore like doing the laundry. I don’t want to be one more item on her to-do list. I don’t want to become a chore. It’s all not bleak for Mrs. Lion. She has found a bit of a silver lining in our activities. The day-in-day-out requirements of enforced male chastity has made us much more physically intimate. This intimacy is currently one way. Mrs. Lion’s libido is still asleep. I think that she still benefits. We spend a lot more time snuggling, hugging, and kissing. Our individual sexual interests and needs are in the foreground and we communicate about them on a daily basis.
That’s good news. Is it good enough? It is for me. I’ve learned that one of the side effects of losing control, at least for me, is feeling guilty that I have added so much of a burden to my keyholder/top. Enforced male chastity is all about the male. How can I help but feel selfish?
[ Mrs. Lion – Funny, I tend to feel like the selfish one. I always feel like I should be doing more. More cooking. More cleaning. More everything. ]