Two Thoughts

I had two thoughts last night: I hope I can report, without jinxing myself, that my ruined orgasm experiment is going well. As of today it’s been a month since I had an orgasm.

Lion thinks ruined orgasms take the edge off. He says he is not as horny as he would have been without that little pressure relief. Perhaps. But I’m not only studying the effects of them on Lion’s libido. I’m also getting some good practice in the art of the ruined orgasm. Last night I was considering just playing with Lion. No edging. No ruined orgasm. Just take Mr. Weenie out for a spin and lock him away again. Instead I decided to go right for the ruined orgasm. I didn’t edge him at all. Needless to say, there was not a lot of ejaculate. I wasn’t even really sure I had gotten him until he confirmed it. I’m sure it wasn’t much fun for my poor pet, but that’s too bad. I am on a mission to perfect my own technique.

If we were practicing female chastity, I’m afraid it would be very boring for Lion. There would be no pleading for release on my part. Although, as I write this, I can see how not being able to have an orgasm might make me want one more than I do now. You know, you always want what you can’t have. Unfortunately, for Lion at least, I have not missed having an orgasm. I can, and have, gone months without one. I never kept track of the time between because it was of no interest to me. Completely the opposite of Lion. And it was nothing I was striving for anyway. Unlike Lion, who wants to have a long wait, I don’t see it as a badge of honor. I don’t see it as anything. I don’t even think about it until I look at my orgasm calendar which is still set to February 2.

Oddly enough, I think I view the scheduled orgasm the same way I view Lion holding doors open for me. Unnecessary and a little annoying. Scheduled orgasms seemed forced to me. I know they helped Lion. It was a time when he was guaranteed not to be shot down. But it was a lot of pressure on me. Having an orgasm when you don’t care about having an orgasm is not the most fun. I thought maybe it would jump start something, but it’s obvious something else is going on. I’m just not sure if it’s physical or mental. Organic or chemical. And I can open my own doors, darn it. (Not a true analogy since I don’t care about giving myself orgasms either.) I guess I’m just a lower middle class girl with an upper middle class Lion who has boarding school manners and sometimes that pinkie-in-the-air tea drinking makes me uncomfortable. (He doesn’t really drink tea with his pinkie in the air.)

So what have I learned in the past few days? I am getting pretty good at ruined orgasms. And I still don’t care about orgasms for myself. I don’t think Lion is very happy with either of these.