January 2015 (Page 4)

Three days is what Lion feels is his optimal wait time. Well I know it’s not. The other day he said if I had let him come it wouldn’t have been the optimal time and that was more than a three day wait. He just wants to come more often. Too bad. I take into account how often he wants to come but I wouldn’t be doing my job if I actually let him come when he wants to. Now if I want him to come that’s another story. I can do it whenever I want. Whether he wants to or not. Of course he rarely resists when I want to give him a bonus orgasm.

I think my pet is also having sophomore slump. Since we got the cage back after his nearly two weeks of being wild, he’s not as happy as he was when it first went on. That first year was full of excitement and new things and the promise of all the wonderful things that would happen now that I am in charge. This second year is less exciting. More of the same. Now the work begins. Second thoughts about giving up control of Mr. Weenie. Uh oh, what have I done?

This morning he emailed me that the cage has been pinching and if it continues he may have to go back to the larger ring. But, oh by the way, you should make me wear it a while longer because it is more secure. He is struggling to control how things go without being able to control how things go. I know the cage is pinching. He was squirming a lot while we were at the movies the other night. I know it’s tighter. I told him his skin was a little pink where the ring is rubbing. We decided he just needed to get used to it. At some point we’ll have to decide how long is long enough. My primary focus is always his comfort. Even when he’s supposed to be uncomfortable (during a spanking, for example) I want the correct amount and type of discomfort. Having the cage pinch and rub for the sake of it being a little more secure doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to me. I never saw him escaping as an issue.

My poor Lion is having a mini panic attack about having to wait for 16 or 25 days. That’s definitely like having Mt. Everest in front of him. How will he ever manage to climb all the way to the top? For starters, he’s got me as his sherpa. I can encourage him. I can push him. I can pull him. I can yell at him. But somehow we’re getting up the damn hill! And if the weather turns we’ll just hunker down in our sleeping bags together and have some fun.

Penises may all look alike, but once you try to fit a chastity device to yours, it becomes obvious that we are all very different. A ball capture chastity device — like the CB6000 or Jail Bird — have to very accurately fit in several places. The device itself has a larger ring that is placed behind the balls and then the penis is threaded through as well (Image). In the image, the ring closest to my body is this ring, commonly called the “A” ring or “base ring”. This ring causes the most trouble.

If it is too large, a ball can “escape” during daily wear. Also, it can be too easy to pull the penis out of the cage and back through the base ring. This is not really an issue you should consider, especially in the beginning. What we want is a tight enough fit so that you can just get the tip of your pinky between the ring and the body. When you wear this ring, it should never cause you pain, even if you attempt to get hard.

The cage itself needs to be accurately sized as well. A properly fitting chastity device has the cage touching the penis at all times. The penis is always in contact with the sides and the head of the penis touches the end of the cage as well. Since penises are capable of shrinking quite small, the length of the cage has to be at least 1/4 to 1/2 inch shorter than your shortest flaccid length. The diameter should be about equal to the diameter of your flaccid penis. For a guide to chastity device fitting, take a look at this page.

Just from this short description, it is obvious that an off-the-shelf chastity device is probably never going to be a perfect fit. Some devices come with a range of base rings as well as spacers to adjust the distance between the cage/tube and the base ring. None have a way to change the actual cage size.

The cheapest off-the-shelf chastity devices cost as little as $35 and go up to more than $200. A custom made device starts at around $300 and can go to $500 or more. My Jail Bird was about $ 375 with the security screw lock. Another big difference is the time it takes to get your device. You can get an off-the-shelf device on Amazon overnight. You will wait at least four-to-six weeks for a custom one.

If you just want to try out enforced chastity, you probably want to spend as little as possible and get the device immediately. So, an off-the-shelf chastity device is the logical choice. Regardless of device choice, you need to do a good job measuring. Our fitting guide will give you complete directions on how to do this. Even when buying a cheap device, take your time and measure carefully.

The chances are very small that you will find a device that is perfect for you. This image is me in the best fitting off-the-shelf device I could find. I bought several before I found this one. It’s easy to see that the cage is too long and a bit too wide. The ring was the right diameter, but its flat shape pinched. However, I was able to wear this device in relative comfort full time.

After I had worn it about a week, it was clear to me that Mrs. Lion and I were prepared to go for long term enforced chastity. At that point, I decided to order a custom device. After reading lots of blog and forum posts about devices, it seemed that Mature Metal made excellent devices at a fair price. They have several models. Personally, I liked the Pet Trap best. I wrote to Mature Metal and asked their advice. I sent an email with my measurements (at least what I thought they were at the time): 2″ long, 1 1/2″ wide, base ring 1 3/4″. Based on that, they advised me that the Pet Trap was not going to fit well (I’m too short) and suggested the Jail Bird. I took their advice and that’s what I ordered.

At the time I ordered, I had the off-the-shelf device on for about 10 days. I had to wear it for another six weeks until the Jail Bird finally arrived. It made a very big difference. One big advantage of custom cages is that the manufacturer will make adjustments at reasonable prices. My cage was too long. My shortest penis length, it turns out is 1 1/2″, so much of the time the head didn’t touch the end of the cage. Mature Metal shortened my cage from 1 3/4″ to 1 1/4″. The new, shorter cage is perfect. Recently, I ordered a smaller base ring too. My body had adapted to the cage and the 1 3/4″ ring became too large. My new one is 1 5/8″ and is perfect.

When you get started and decide to get an inexpensive device (my choice), expect the fit to be less than perfect. Also expect it to be a little uncomfortable. If, after a while, you decide you want to stay locked up, then it makes very good sense to get a custom-fitted cage.

This is the cage I settled on until I received my Jail Bird.

Yesterday was Lion’s scheduled orgasm. He enjoyed a lengthy blow job. I enjoyed a sizable ejaculation. We were both very happy with the outcome. Then I checked my calendar and set Lion’s new date for February 2. Groundhog day. I’m sure he’s hoping that, like the movie, the day repeats itself over and over so he has an orgasm every day. At least for a few days. But it won’t.

Up till yesterday I had his schedule of dates in an email that I had to go searching for every time I needed to change his calendar. Now I’ve put it in my phone’s calendar so I can access it more easily. In doing so I realized that he has a few long wait times coming up. Most are in the range of 9-12 days but he has a 16 day and a 25 day wait as well. He’s not happy about that. He’s gone from “that’s too long” to “I can wait as long as you need me to” to “I’m glad I have those coupons.”

I think I chose the dates before we decided that he didn’t really like marathon waits. And I’m sure to some of our readers who really do have marathon waits, a wait time of even 25 days seems like the blink of an eye. I may change those dates before I even schedule them. Not that I don’t think Lion could make a long wait. It just isn’t something either of us is into. It’s like his frilly panties. He doesn’t really want to wear them and I don’t really want to make him wear them so they’ll stay in the drawer until I think he needs to wear them. If I get to a point that I think he needs a 25 day wait I can certainly give him one. I have no idea under what circumstances he would need a 25 day wait but I’ll leave the possibility out there.

For now he has to wait nine days. Absolutely doable even without bonus orgasms or coupons. It may actually be his optimal wait time.

In my reading of enforced chastity blogs and forums, there are endless references to rituals performed as part of the enforced chastity experience. Many are very elaborate. For example, one couple stores the chastity device key in a lock box. The keyholder has the key to the box. The box is stored in the caged male’s nightstand. If he wants sex, he takes the box out and gives it to his keyholder. She can either open it or give it back. He could have just asked her if he could have an orgasm. But, at least to him, this ritual has value.

I’ve read of incredibly complex rituals around male milking and other relatively simple activities. Other rituals are very simple. I am required to send an email to Mrs. Lion at work before noon each day. We both like that one because we love contacting each other. Beyond that we don’t have much in the way of ritual behavior.

Rituals in power exchange relationships are important to the submissive partner. This generalization is not, of course, universal. I think the reason rituals are so important to the bottom/submissive/caged male is that they offer consistency in what is essentially a rather scary world. In my case, if I want to get sexual release I have to be obedient and do what Mrs. Lion wishes. She, of course, calls all the shots. Now, if we had a ritual for, say anal play (Mrs. Lion, I am not suggesting we need one!), I would be able to know what was coming and how it would proceed. The ritual would define our actions in that particular activity.

Aside from comfort, rituals can create a “memory” for sensations. If, for example, before stimulating my penis, Mrs. Lion always kissed or licked my ear, I would learn to be aroused  by that first gesture. My mind would associate penile stimulation with my ear being kissed. Similarly, a hand gesture could have the same result. If right after a particular gesture, I got stimulation, over time I would learn to be aroused just by the gesture. Think Pavlov.

This is behavioral conditioning. Ritual, whether religious or sexual, serves to be a shortcut to some state. In some religions, practitioners work to achieve a trance-like state. Initially it takes time and energy. However, if something like incense is burned at the same time the people work to get into that state, they will associate the scent of incense with being in the trance state and will automatically enter it with little effort when they get that scent.

Rituals are signals of something to come. Many are performed immediately before the act they signal. However, some of the most fun ones take place some time in advance. For example, if it is orgasm night for a caged male, maybe an email or verbal announcement that tonight is the night (I love that). Following that perhaps the male is required to bathe very carefully and perform other activities in preparation for the fun. This sort of thing serves two purposes: It extends the arousal and essentially, the orgasm itself for hours prior to the stimulation, and it reinforces the submissive nature of all this by requiring specific activities by the male. A further benefit is that theses rituals do not have to include any effort by the keyholder.

If you wonder why your caged male wants rituals (he may not know that is what they are, but now you do), you can see that they provide a pleasant extension of the things he likes best about being in enforced chastity. Most importantly, rituals performed by the male help convert what is essentially a passive role into a more active one. We guys love that.