December 2014 (Page 13)

One of the reasons the scheduled date bothers me is that part of me feels I am letting Lion down by not making him wait. The other part says, “Are you kidding? He’d love to come!” I know I can change my mind any time. I know Lion doesn’t really care about long waits. But it’s just one more example of me not following through when I give him an orgasm early.

I know. It’s all in my head. Isn’t every part of this? I’ve had to wrap my head around punishment, teasing, edging, ruined orgasms. All of it. It stands to reason things get a little muddled.

Lion has made it clear its my decision. I know that. What I need to do is overcome the idea that the date is mocking me. If I don’t care that I’m not waiting then I can do whatever I want. The date is just a suggestion. I don’t need a reason to extend or reduce time. I know it. I just have to believe it.

It seems like I take two steps back for every step forward.

Over the last day or so Mrs. Lion has been discussing waiting times. Should they be fixed and preassigned? Is it better to leave the issue open ended? I like the idea of assigned waits since it lets me anticipate. It also gives Mrs. Lion the ability to change the date depending on my behavior. She said she likes giving me orgasms. How nice. I like having them. A match made in heaven!

She asked me what my ideal interval would be. That’s not an easy question. After some thought I told her that once every two or three days would be right. Based on my past experience, this is a fair number. Of course, over the last  year I’ve had to wait considerably longer than that. Sometimes the longer waits have been tough to handle. Other times it wasn’t bad at all.

I know that I have a sexual interest “cycle”. When I am in my horny phase, I want sex all the time and can easily enjoy two orgasms a day. On the other side of my cycle, I lose interest in sex and waiting a week or more doesn’t bother me. There is also “use it or lose it”. Reduced sexual frequency will result in reduced interest. This is one reason why tease and deny is such an important part of enforced chastity.

Mrs. Lion knows all this. She has been trying to learn how long I have to wait before I get desperate to come. She likes me in that state. The longer the wait, if accompanied by very frequent tease and deny, should result in increasing desperation. Some keyholders love this so much that they don’t like finally allowing their males an orgasm. When they do, it takes time for the high energy desperation to return.

I don’t think Mrs. Lion has settled on what she wants in terms of my chastity. She is experimenting and learning. I’m learning too.

Lion’s next orgasm date is December 14. Another nine day wait. He says more often would be nicer. So I asked him, in a perfect world, how often would he like to come. He thought a minute and said every two or three days.

I have his orgasm dates planned out for a few months. Of course I can change them any time I want. I’m wondering if I should abandon set wait times for a while . Or maybe I’ll play it by ear and sometimes set a date and sometimes not. I know Lion likes the set dates, but at times they feel like too much structure to me. There are times I want to give him an orgasm because I want what I want when I want it and that date seems like it’s giving me a disapproving glare. Don’t you do it! Don’t you dare give him an orgasm!

As I’ve said in the past, I don’t know which of us wants Lion to come more. I’m sure it’s him, but I love making him come. I love his noises. I love the taste. So I need to make a decision going forward. Maybe a discussion with Lion to see how he feels about it.