lion in pouch underpants
Here I am in my new pouch underwear. The cage shows through the pouch, but not my jeans. Click the image for a larger, color image.

Underwear can be a kink all by itself, or for me, a problem I have to solve. Most of the time I am unaware of my cage. But when in the car or sitting at work, I get the occasional pinch. This requires a bit a of adjusting. I’ve learned that the amount of adjusting I need to do has a lot to do with the underwear I am wearing. For the first seven months I wore men’s incontinence briefs. These briefs look very much like typical cotton briefs, but have a thin pad sewn in front. I got them because I thought they would help hide the telltale cage bulge from public view.

I think that most of my concern was due to my own self consciousness, not any real chance I will be seen. After lots of pinches and adjusting, I decided to investigate alternatives. My first try was with Calvin Klein micro briefs. The “micro” refers to the fabric which feels very silky, but is made from synthetics. These were a vast improvement, but I still had that pinch.

After buying and trying a bunch of products, I found the Obviously Modal full cut briefs (see photo). My pinch rate has gone down to near zero. Unfortunately, these briefs appear to be discontinued in the US, though I did find them on the Australian site of the manufacturer.  They are available there with free shipping. The cost is a bit high, but worth it. If you buy on that site, remember it is Australian dollars which are different from US dollars. There are other “pouch” briefs out there. Amazon has lots of them. What set this model apart for me is that the pouch is larger and more separated from the rest of the briefs. Most of the other, similar underwear have smaller pouches that are more integrated into the brief. I am pretty sure there are others out there of similar design. Most online stores will let you return the underwear if you don’t want them (and haven’t worn them for any length of time).

Sunday night I was whining a bit about wanting attention, so Mrs. Lion decided to oblige. She started by asking if her putting Icy Hot on my balls would work as the attention I want. I politely declined. She knew I would. Then she went into the toy collection and came back with a particularly nasty paddle made from thick, conveyer belt material. It stunk of rubber. Very industrial! She then proceeded to spank me. In case you are wondering, yes it was the kind of attention I wanted. How kind of Mrs. Lion.

In a weak moment I asked about bonus orgasms. She reminded me that I told her I didn’t want any this time. Under my breath I muttered, “Stupid lion!” She reminded me that she will take an orgasm when she feels like it. I’ve reached the stage where I am pretty horny. This is the time I ask myself why I want to be kept from coming? What ever motivated me? The answer, of course is that I want Mrs. Lion to be in charge.

In her post yesterday, she referred to my equating a keyholder with a maternal woman. The analogy was certainly not comparing her to my mother. Good grief! I am happy she plans more activities for me that may not include an orgasm. I know I won’t like some of them. I accept that. It helps me remember who is in charge. It also occurs to me that she could end up doing things to me that don’t require my cage off. I could end up wearing it continuously until September 30.

That got me thinking about my desire for discipline. I mentioned that I had considered dropping food on purpose, but couldn’t do it. It felt wrong to me. I realize that I want very badly to “do the right thing” and find the idea of willful disobedience distasteful. That isn’t a great attitude if I want to experience discipline. As I’ve written before, infractions and penalties are extremely difficult for any top. Most of us create rules that will “improve” the people we control. Now, along comes someone like me, who wants to be disciplined. The rules that Mrs. Lion imposes are both an expression of her power over me as well as reasonable things for me to do.

What’s a keyholder to do? When I first got into BDSM, I was the bottom. My top, as new to it as I, was a brilliant woman who took her role seriously. She decided that a way to satisfy my kink as well as reinforce her position was to “condition” my behavior. She picked a couple of harmless behavioral changes that she could correct and reward. She would get pleasure from observing that the new behaviors became automatic and part of my basic behavior. She picked two things: I had to clasp my hands behind my back when standing and not holding anything, and I could only refer to my penis as my “weenie”. Since I don’t discuss my penis with strangers, that change wouldn’t get me in trouble and standing with my hands behind my back was harmless. She made one other rule: I had to be naked whenever in the bedroom. She had to restrict it to the bedroom because we had kids in the house. Again, harmless and very easy to observe and enforce.

Over the years I used this same technique as a top. It was pretty easy to come up with behavioral changes that would do no harm, but would be easy to enforce on an ongoing basis. The bottoms loved it. Maybe this is something Mrs. Lion could consider. Since I try so hard to “be good” she may have to find things that I will actually forget to do and she can respond to. Of course, Mrs. Lion doesn’t like to make or enforce rules. Maybe conditioning for something easy would help get me punished. Sound crazy? Well, it’s my kink.  What can I say?