Today marks my ninth month in enforced chastity. If the widget in the right column doesn’t agree, it’s because the date calculation it uses is approximate. Since the ninth month is the end of human gestation, I thought it might be helpful to update you on progress and learning to date.
I’ve been trying to understand the effect that a ruined orgasm has on my level of desire. Mrs. Lion gave me an accidental one on Sunday night. I think I see a pattern emerging. Immediately after a ruined orgasm I feel frustrated but not interested in more sex. The next day I am horny again. The day after that, not so horny. I was careful to note how I felt after my last complete orgasm. The pattern is the same. So, even though I don’t get particular satisfaction from a ruined orgasm, I do get the same effects on my level of interest in getting off. So, contrary to popular reporting, at least for me, a ruined orgasm has exactly the same result as a full one, just without the pleasure a full one provides. So, in terms of effect on my increasing desire, a ruined orgasm and a bonus full one are the same.
Initially, I had a Chinese, stainless-steel cage. It was reasonably comfortable, but after a week or so of continuous wear, I did get irritated and red around the base ring. A day off was enough to cure it. In March, my Jail Bird arrived. From the start, this device has been comfortable to the point that I can forget it is on. Nighttime erections don’t wake me and the cage remains comfortable.
There was one problem that became increasingly annoying over time: peeing. My original JB cage was 1 3/4 inches long. The head of my penis was frequently a half inch or so from the end of the cage. As a result, peeing was a chancy activity. I could spray in any direction, and a couple of times, ended up wetting my pants. The only way to avoid this was to sit to urinate. At home this was no problem, but at work or at public events, it was an annoying inconvenience. After consulting with Mistress MM of Mature Metal, I had the cage shortened 1/2 inch to 1 1/4-inches. This modification puts the head of my penis in firm contact with the end of the cage. My urethra is generally centered in the square opening in the front of the cage. Peeing in a urinal is no problem. Peeing at home still has challenges. Unless the urethra is dead center in that opening, there can be some spray or the stream can go off to one side. Most of the time at home I pee sitting down to avoid the mess.
Another area that has been a problem for me long before I was caged, is underwear comfort. I am almost always in jeans. For some reason, when I sit a long time, like on a car trip, at the office, or flying long distances, my underwear would generally end up applying painful, pinching pressure to my balls. Over the years I have tried different brands and styles of briefs (I don’t like boxers and have tried boxer-briefs with the same issue). My cage made the problem worse. I had been wearing synthetic briefs that were, for the most part, comfortable, but would still bind and pinch. I was miserable with these after being caged. For the last seven months I had been wearing incontinence briefs. I wrote about them in my post yesterday. I’ve replaced them with a radically-different, Australian design. So far I love the change. No binding or adjusting at all. We’ll see over time if I have solved that problem.
Sex, desire, and waiting
Going into our chastity adventure, neither of us had any idea what made sense in terms of time between orgasms (waiting). Mrs. Lion has tried different intervals from one day to the current twenty-one days. I’ve done much soul searching to try to understand what I want. Mrs. Lion has been taking my cues.
In the beginning, I was certain that I didn’t want to wait more than a few days. I felt that my time on earth is limited and I didn’t want to take away something that I enjoy so much. I also had no interest in “testing” myself. After all, what sort of test is it? I can’t get myself off while caged, so will power is not involved. Now, nine months later I have a clearer idea of what may work.
In terms of my level of desire, it’s clear that one week is too short. I seem to start peaking at around ten days. Since I am on my longest wait now, I am not sure what is too long. Also, my ruined orgasm Sunday, effectively cut five days off the current 21-day waiting time. My longest wait has been fourteen days, three of which I was too sick to care at all about sex. Before that, it was ten days without an orgasm or ruined orgasm. I can say that I was tree-humping horny and desperate on the tenth day.
When I think about it, I have very mixed feelings. I hate the idea of having only 12 orgasms a year, like some caged males. I think that 52 a year is a rather big number. So now, nine months later, I still have no idea what makes sense for us. Good thing it isn’t up to me. Whatever Mrs. Lion picks will be the right number.
Mrs. Lion’s libido isn’t as strong as mine. When we started last January, Mrs. Lion hadn’t had very much sex in years. She just wasn’t that interested. One very positive outcome of my enforced chastity is that Mrs. Lion’s libido is slowly returning. In the nine months of my lockup, she has had more orgasms than in the last five years or more. One strong argument in favor of making my lockup permanent is its ability to keep sex in the front of both of our minds.
(Continued tomorrow. Read about teasing, discipline, and other kinks)