I’ve been reading and writing about forced male chastity for over fifteen years and I’ve been locked up full time for almost six months (with breaks for sex, hygiene, etc. but otherwise full time). Mrs. Lion and I have been writing here about our experiences as long as I have been locked up. I think this qualifies me to comment on the general state of forced male chastity on the Internet. So why this buildup? Well, I decided to go back and revisit what’s available on the Web and then consider what that would mean to someone new to forced male chastity.
The first thing I noticed is that most of the conversations on forums and blogs talk mostly about subjects that have nothing to do with forced chastity. For example, on one forum, a member asks about underwear that is comfortable while wearing a device (I discussed this just a few days ago in this post). Surprisingly, most of the replies discussed wearing women’s panties and the like. Suggestions ranged from menstral pads to female thongs. Similarly, discussions about living with forced chastity invariably discussed other kinks like cross dressing, adult baby, spanking, etc.
Another favorite topic is chastity hardware. Many of the conversations talk about coping with discomfort associated with their owner’s devices. The implied message is that wearing a chastity device is painful and uncomfortable. Most of the coping advice flies in the face of good hygiene and healthcare. For example, many suggest regular application of skin lubes to relieve painful cock and ball rings. Healthy skin should not be greasy or damp. They fail to recognize that the real problem is that they have the wrong size or type of device.
Things really go off the rail when the conversation turns to how the keyholder should behave and how the caged male should treat her. One disturbed writer claimed that if the male wants to orgasm he should throw a tantrum to convince his keyholder he really wants it. Keyholders are advised to monitor every minute of their caged male’s lives, keep them restrained during any time out of the cage, make them eat from dog bowls on the floor, etc. Those activities are certainly valid for some, but not required to practice forced male chastity.
I have to watch out too. Since I have been locked up full time for months, I tend to think that my lifestyle is simple enough for everyone, and that if you are considering forced male chastity that you would naturally want to do what I do. Well, no. You don’t. Based on my contacts over the years and filtering the wheat from the chaff on the Web, here is my take on how most people practice forced male chastity:
- The vast majority of people who do this use inexpensive imported chastity devices that don’t fit very well, but do control access to the penis. Most people practice limited lockup in the context of sex play. Lockup times range from less than an hour to a weekend.
- I haven’t found anyone who is locked up with no other sexual play associated with the chastity. Most, if not all, approach forced chastity as a form of sexual submission. Many limit it to the keyholder determining when and if the caged male gets an orgasm. Of course, this implies that the male is locked up more than a few hours. Others use being locked up as a punishment. Almost by definition, being locked in a chastity device and surrendering the keys to someone else is a power exchange. Exactly how that power exchange is expressed varies by the people doing it.
- There is no right way to practice this. Like any other sexual activity, forced male chastity is between consenting adults. Recently, I tried to see if I could find examples of situations where the keyholder initiated the forced chastity. I only found two, one of which was a reintroduction of forced chastity months after the male discussed it. What does this mean? Simply that the male wants to be locked up and wants his keyholder, at the very least, to decide when and if he can orgasm. Anything you read about keyholders forcing males into chastity is obvious fiction.
Like many things on the Web, a great deal of what you see represents extremes of belief. This is especially true with forced male chastity. Most of the males who write on forums either want to brag, share a fantasy and pretend it is reality, or ask advice of other inexperienced males. Very few experienced, full time, caged males and their keyholders bother to participate in these forums. There are a handful of blogs like ours that share real life forced chastity experiences and advice. In fact, the reason I started this blog was my utter horror at the misinformation floating around the Web.
Please remember that if you read something about forced male chastity that seems extreme, it probably is. The bottom line is that if you decide to become caged or to be a keyholder, all you are signing up to do is the power exchange about when and if the male gets to get erect and orgasm. Everything else is purely optional. Mrs. Lion and I do what we agreed would match my particular kinks and her desire to support them. What you do will probably be quite different.
All I can say is “amen.”
Since I started poking around Tumblr I’ve loved and been horrified by what I’ve seen people post. Some are amazing stories of chastity and some of them make me wonder who the F these people got their advice from.
What struck me the most was a woman who said now that her husband was in chastity she was going to get him used to being pegged. She admitted that he did not want to be pegged but she was going to anyway because she was in charge and “everyone knows men really learn to like it. So I’ll just do it until he starts to”.
It’s almost like the idea of limits and consent were just foreign concepts from the get go. Or rather that “once you lock it, there’s no going back, ever.”
If I seemed strident when I first poked around, part of it comes form seeing those posts there as well and making unfair assumptions.
For those of us who spent time in the BDSM world, the idea of non-consensual activity is not only foreign, it is wrong. Even if this man learned to love his ass filled, his wife completely disregarded any form of consent. I do think, however, that in a long term relationship like ours, if I make a irrevocable request of Mrs. Lion, that is fully consensual, if perhaps at some point, unwise. Actually I am not worried. I trust my lioness with a lot more than my penis. She and only she can end my lockup. I sure hope she doesn’t want to do that any time soon. As for other play, we follow ethical power exchange practices.
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