this is a picture of me in my jail bird. note the space at the bottom of the picture between the cage and the head of my penis. that space (circled and lighter) indicates the cage is too long. click the image for a full-sized, color version of this picture
This is a picture of me in my Jail Bird. Note the space at the bottom of the picture between the cage and the head of my penis. That space (circled and lighter) indicates the cage is too long. Click the image for a full-sized, color version of this picture

I spent endless time learning about measuring for a chastity cage. The one key thing I learned over the years was that the cage must fit correctly to be comfortable and properly serve its purpose. So, before ordering a Jail Bird, I measured and remeasured. My soft penis measured two inches. It did. Short, but if it made the cage fit correctly, I was fine. Well I got the cage and it felt great. I’ve been wearing it for more than five months with no irritation, unauthorized escape, erections, or orgasms. It fit and it worked. Not really. That whole time my urethra ended up pointing up or to one side. I could sort of adjust it, but if I tried peeing standing up, too often I would spray and cover my pants and the floor. I gave up and just sat down to pee.

I’ve hated that. I was never a fan of public restrooms. I hate sitting on public toilets. I’ve done it, but don’t love it. Last week I contacted Mature Metal, the maker of the Jail Bird. The response surprised me. They said that my cage was almost certainly too long. As you can see by the image to the right, there is room between the head of my penis and the end of the cage. Apparently it is this distance that allows the head to move and  take my urethra off center. So, I made arrangements to shorten the cage. It is boxed up and will mail out today (June 16, 2014). In a week or so, the correctly sized cage will arrive.

The problem for me is that my cock is even smaller than I thought. I know that my flaccid penis is no indicator of how big it is hard (6-inches), but still… Mrs. Lion measured the gap in the cage and got one-half inch as the result. After she unlocked me, I remeasured, this time being very careful not to press the end of the  ruler into my scrotum (Mature Metal wants the measurement along the bottom of the penis from the spot it joins the scrotum to the tip. It came out to 1 1/2-inches. That’s tiny! If you click the picture on the right you can see me in that cage larger and in color as well as me when erect.

I would like to think that my measurement error was an honest mistake. But maybe I pressed that ruler into my balls because it is just too much to consider my soft cock is only an inch and a half. Well it is. So, Mrs. Lion’s big ol’ lion sports a 1 1/2″ dick. Live and learn. The more I look at that image (right), the more obvious it is that I am not filling out the cage. I don’t think that I made it very clear in my measurement instructions, just how important it is that the cage “hug” the soft penis. Contact is needed on the sides and head in order for urination to be simple and for the cage to work most effectively.

Now I know. For the next week or so I will be in my Chinese off-the-shelf cage until my new, shorter Jail Bird arrives. Will you think less of me because my weenie is so small?

hearts in the sky
My cage has helped us improve our already-strong love for each other.

My lock up began a week or two before Valentine’s Day. Neither of us attached any importance to that. It was purely a coincidence. However, when I realized that (just a few minutes ago), it occurred to me that I have written a lot of words about forced chastity and caged male and keyholder issues without spending much time on the most important facet of this to me: my love for Mrs. Lion. She’s been the center of my world for about twelve years. I can’t imagine my life without her. Whether or not I wear a chastity device that won’t change. However, something is different now. I’ve been trying to put my finger on it for a while and now I think I have.

When Mrs. Lion had her sexual dry spell, I really missed the exciting play and hot sex. But I never considered that the change had anything to do with our love. We do everything together and always have. The fact that sex for me became infrequent hand jobs didn’t change any of that. Yes, I really missed sex, spankings, bondage, anal play and all the other stuff we did for the first years together, but it never occurred to me that she was taking something away from me. I learned that I could be disappointed about not getting things I want without being angry or distant from the one I love. We were caught in a vicious circle. I have a serious problem initiating and Mrs. Lion felt deprived because I wasn’t doing that and had lost much of her interest in sex. We both felt badly but unlike many, never considered that an issue with our love or relationship.

I was probably the most affected by this. Here I am a big strong guy; a leader who can’t make himself the sexual aggressor. That bugs me to this day. I am trying to accept it’s how I’m wired, but it is so out of sync with the rest of my life it constantly gets to me. But I never thought Mrs. Lion had anything to do with it; and she didn’t. In many ways we became best friends who slept next to each other and occasionally had some masturbation time. The one part of our relationship that this hurt was affection. We continued to hold hands. We do that all the time. but we both missed the more intimate moments.

I would love to claim that my renewed interest in forced male chastity was a brilliant stroke that I just knew would get us back on track sexually. I didn’t. However, like most men, when horny I did look around the Web for “interesting” ideas. I run a sex toy review web site and while looking at referrers (other sites that haven links to mine), I noticed a chastity forum member had posted a link to my site and my article on women who were approached about being a keyholder. I responded on the forum to the poster and kept reading. I got all turned on by the discussion. Not a hard thing for me to do when horny. Someone mentioned that sold some inexpensive Chinese chastity devices. That got me interested and I ordered a couple figuring I could review them. Long story short, I was turned on wearing one (for an hour or two) and so I asked Mrs. Lion how she felt about me being locked up and her having the key.

She agreed because she could see I wanted to do this. Most of the rest of the story is chronicled here in the Journal. What was significant in the present context is that she started this just because I wanted it. I also wanted her to want it too. That was really asking too much. I know that. But she gamely agreed to lock me up even if it didn’t have any value to her.

What happens next is the story you can read here. We got serious about it and between the reality of my cage and our writing here, we renewed our sexual conversation on- and offline. While we probably didn’t need the cage or the blog to do this, we didn’t until we had both. This brings me back to today’s conversation.

My real wish is for Mrs. Lion to embrace my forced chastity and make me understand that it is no longer my decision whether or not I stay locked up. I want her to own when I can orgasm and take charge of some other areas in my life. Over the last five months she has slowly been working into that role. It hasn’t been easy for her, but she is making wonderful progress.

In the meantime, her big wish from me was to initiate sex. It is as important to her as being owned by her is to me. A few days ago  I wrote a post about what I would do if I were my keyholder. I tried to be as honest as I possibly could. I also warned Mrs. Lion that she wasn’t being asked to do any of what I said I would do. However, two concepts emerged from my subconscious that really struck home. The first was that if I were my keyholder I would require that I (as caged male) would initiate sexual activity for my keyholder every single day. If she wasn’t in the mood she could say so, but she shouldn’t have to demand sex from me. After I wrote that, it dawned on me that this was the right thing for me, her pet, to do. Who says the keyholder has to demand sex? Why shouldn’t the loving pet offer it freely and accept that she may not always want it? So, I resolved to do just that.

In the top/bottom context of our relationship I would like to be corrected (spanked or shocked) if i fail to follow through every single day. Maybe at some point that will happen too. Regardless, I like the idea and I am following through. Mrs. Lion, your lion will try every single day. Just say so if you aren’t in the mood. Correct me for missing if you want.

The other idea in the post is that while I like rules and discipline, rules aren’t the only way for me to feel the control and discipline. The problem with rules is that each rule requires monitoring and supervision. Making a rule is way more work for the top than the bottom. However, what if instead I get corrected each time I do something that displeases Mrs. Lion, even a little. It will certainly mean a lot of shocks and swats at first, but I think that the training I will get in learning to please my keyholder will be invaluable. It also can benefit her as well. Instead of being forced to notice each rule infraction, she only has to notice when something displeases her. Normally, she suppresses her feelings and I never know what I did unless it is a big thing. Maybe this concept will give her the freedom to surface her feelings about issues big and small.

The gift we get from forced chastity is the license to make significant changes to support this largely sexual concept. It’s becoming a valuable tool that has the ability to help us improve our already-great relationship. I asked Mrs. Lion if I could decide not to be locked up. She thought about it a while and said no, she liked things this way. I like it this way too.

atom bomb explosion
I am at the point where all I can think about is that wonderful moment when Mrs. Lion lets me explode with pleasure.

(Friday, June 13, 2014) Ok, ok, I asked for it. Mrs. Lion is letting me stew in my cage. Don’t laugh! I know many caged males get an orgasm a month or less. Well, if you check out my history you will see that Mrs. Lion has been treating me to several orgasm a week. I know that I whined here that I would like to wait longer. The last time I had an orgasm was last Sunday. It’s been five long days. In that time, she did unlock me and tease me to the edge once. Other than that, my penis has been behind bars.

Some time ago when I had to wait a few days, I noticed that I get grumpy about three days into denial. It happened again this week. Last night I was very horny and woke up a couple of times with an erection (or what might be one if I were wild). The erections didn’t wake me up. But I was trying to get hard at least those two times. In a prior post Mrs. Lion said I think about sex more now than when I was wild. It’s true; I do. My mind drifts frequently to thoughts of exciting sexual activities: being masturbated, corrected with my collar, being tied up, etc. All of those thoughts end with my orgasm.

Does this mean Mrs. Lion should take pity on her poor, caged lion and give me an orgasm forthwith? Part of me thinks that’s a splendid idea, and part of me wants her to decide when I finally get off. I do hope that whether I get to come or not, my penis gets out of solitary for a while and gets to stretch and play a bit. I also hope that even if Mrs. Lion has no plans to let me squirt, she would still tie me down and play with me.

This is a fairly new concept for us both. Without exception, every time we play (other than punishment spanking), it all ends with a delightful lion orgasm. Similarly, in the past, every time I got Mrs. Lion off, she reciprocated by getting me off. Wednesday and Thursday I gave her fun sexual attention while caged and she made no move to see that I was also satisfied. I think that this change makes perfect sense in the context of my forced chastity. I am learning that sexually exciting activities do not automatically result in a happy ending for me.

This is something of a shock to me, and I suspect, to most males. We spend our lives knowing that at the end of every sexual session we will be spilling our seed somewhere; either by our own hand or in a partner context. This is not the case anymore. The do-it-myself option has been taken off the table and Mrs. Lion is the only person who can provide that relief. Aside from the obvious top/bottom implication, it represents a most powerful loss of control that a man can sustain. To me, the well-educated and well-read lion who has endless experience at BDSM and academic chastity knowledge, this is coming as an emotional and physical shock. There is a big difference between knowing I can only come at Mrs. Lion’s pleasure and experiencing the frustration of being unable to scratch that very persistent itch.

I really wish I could come. I want to so badly! Wow, I’m even whining here. My whining should have nothing to do with Mrs. Lion’s decision as to when I finally get relief. I know that and I am happy she does too. My interest in intellectual chastity chit-chat is diminished too. I just want to feel Mrs. Lion stimulate me and experience the tightening in my abdomen and legs, my toes curling as I explode. I can honestly say that if I weren’t securely locked in, I would take matters into my own hands.

unhappy lion
Lion is unhappy I am giving him what he wanted. I’m proud of myself for being strong.

Lion is funny. He swears he wants to be denied. The other night he told me he might have to be restrained when he’s wild. Last night he was mumbling under his breath abouth being horny. Then he told me I seem to be having an easy time denying him.

Well, no. It’s not easy. It may be amusing, but it’s not easy. Remember, I’m walking that tightrope. To stay on the wire I have to maintain my focus of what he wants despite his protests, grumbling and mumbling. It would be easy to fall off the wire.

When he was grumbling last night I told him I’d feel bad for him if he hadn’t told me just the other day that he wanted me to make him wait for an orgasm. That part has gotten easier. I can laugh at him for being a toddler in that respect.

Also last night, he did his nightly initiation of sex. I’m not sure yet how I feel about that, but I applaud his determination to conquer that obstacle. So last night he started fingering me and it did feel nice but I was pretty sure I wasn’t going to have an orgasm. I told him he could stop. He asked if it felt good. When I said yes he told me if it feels good he’d like to keep doing it. After a while he did stop and said he would be upset if someone stopped doing something to him that felt good. Silly Lion. I do that all the time to him!

Maybe I’m finally getting the hang of making him wait. I just need to find the humor in it.