(Monday, May 12 2014) In case you haven’t noticed, forced male chastity is considered a very unusual kink. Even in the leather world of BDSM, a tiny percentage of practitioners also incorporate chastity. Over the last couple of decades more people have become aware of our activities. The Internet makes it possible to find out about anything. It takes only a few seconds to find links to sites that provide information. Over the years I’ve talked with many people who are interested or are practicing forced male chastity. Virtually all were introduced to the relationship by the man, and most failed because of what potential keyholders read on the Net. When I created this blog, my goal was to present information I would want my wife, a new keyholder, to read. I also wanted both of us to tell our stories as we live with chastity. My theory was that if we kept the explicit sex to a minimum and avoid too many penis pictures, the Journal could become a regular read for people interested in our kink.
Having been involved with websites for a long time I realize that I have a problem: over 90% of the people who come to sites like this are men. Most men are looking for sexual stimulation when they read a blog. We don’t offer much of that. I follow a few chastity blogs. All of them end up reporting graphic sex scenes day after day. It can sound like fiction to some, but in at least two cases I know it is accurate reporting. Here’s the thing; even in the most sex-drenched chastity relationship, at least 23-hours-a-day are spent doing non sexual things. If you read the blogs, you would imagine that these people are licking, spanking, edging, etc. day and night. That makes for hot reading and men flock there to get hard. If that’s what you want, enjoy their romps. Most of the people that do those extreme sex-crazed blogs are new to both power exchange and chastity. Maybe we should excuse their excitement
Since there is no expectation that this blog will ever make a dime, the only reason to do things that build readership is ego. I love it when a lot of people share here. But it isn’t the reason I am writing. I want our blog to be enjoyable reading for both men and women. I want women new to the chastity concept to get a realistic view of how it fits into our lives. My adventures with Mrs. Lion, I believe, is fairly typical of a married couple trying to make this work.
I figured that since I have decades of experience with power exchange, being caged would be fairly easy for me to embrace. Well, turns out that I knew the lyrics but not the song. If you are new here, I suggest going back to the beginning and read how things developed for us. It wasn’t smooth, and it most certainly didn’t read like a porno story. It is a strong temptation to spend my time writing about the hot sessions lioness and I have. I am sure I could make our Journal get guys hard like the best of them. Don’t worry, I won’t. I want to us to share our growth, setbacks, and joys. I hope that caged male and keyholder can both read here and get some useful information and a few smiles.
You can help if you want. There are two easy possibilities. The first is to add your comments to posts. Ask questions, disagree, agree, anything. Become part of the dialogue. The second is to mention the Journal on forums if you read something you think would help others. Until our other couple picked up their posts and left, it was interesting to see how two different real-life couples grew in chastity. I am confident we will have that again.
Last, there is a contact us tab at the top of the page. Clicking that will bring you to a form you can use to send a direct email to us. If you are uncomfortable commenting in public or want to ask a personal question, please feel free to write. We answer all our mail.
Thank you very much for being part of our adventure.
(Sunday, May 11 2014) To me one of the best signs of a healthy forced male chastity relationship is seamless integration into day-to-day living. Here is a picture (top) of Mrs. Lion with our shopping cart as we do our weekly trip to the warehouse store. The remote for my shock collar hangs loosely from her wrist. The business end – the receiver/shocker – is buried safely under my balls (bottom photo). You can see that it makes very good contact against that most sensitive spot.
So far, she hasn’t used it much. Once today, as we were walking down an isle I got a sharp zap. I looked at her, puzzled. “You interrupted me. You’re not supposed to do that.”
I had. The reminder did its job and I went silent. This device is proving very effective as a way to both “page” me when wanted and to correct me when I fail to obey either a rule or command. As of today, I only have two rules that my lioness enforces: don’t spill food or drink, and don’t interrupt. I usually get some bare bottom spanking for spilling at home, and when we are out I get zapped.
Spanking is a very effective punishment. It demonstrates my keyholder’s power and it has an after effect that can last for days. Zapping, however is very different. It’s applied while I am naughty. It’s a strong sensation and when it stops there is no after effect at all. The simple remote control allows my keyholder to vary the intensity from something I can barely feel, to one that will make me jump. She can hold the button for only a second or for 10.
The ability to vary intensity and time is a very useful training aid. If trying to correct a behavior like touching his genitals, the first reminder can be a rather mild zap. Repeated mistakes can get stronger and longer messages. The caged male determines how intense is correction will be. If he is a good boy it won’t be much at all. Repeating the offense will result in more discomfort.
When we first considered using a training collar for male training, my concern was that the sensation would be far too mean, like a cattle prod, to be used under my tender balls. I was wrong. When we test the device, Mrs. Lion has to dial up considerably before I feel a tiny tingle. I always ask her to go up one more notch for signalling. The next notch feel a little stronger and unmistakable. If I wander off, a couple of zaps will bring me back. If I don’t move fast enough, I can expect stronger, repeated zaps until I am where I am told to be.
The hardest part of this more Mrs. Lion is the authority I want her to have. I know she doesn’t want to take charge of her lion in sexual (or any) matters. She is starting to see that it can be useful. She hates when I interrupt her. Now she has a simple, effective way to stop me from doing that anymore. She doesn’t mind if my hand wanders between my legs, so there is no correction there.
I know I should have lots of great ideas on what behaviors she may want to correct. I am embarrassed to say that I don’t. Is it that I just don’t have any bad habits? That can’t be. How many lions do you know who don’t need training?
You can help us. What requires discipline in your relationship? What male activities need the sort of conditioning and supervision this great toy provides? If you had a remote control for your male, how would you use it?
Please use the comments section, or if you want to communicate privately use Contact Us to send us a private message. Thanks! Caged Lion
Well, I did. Sort of. I am notorious for thinking I want something and then either not having any clue how to get it, or deciding once I have it that it wasn’t really what I wanted at all. So I wind up with exercise equipment that just sits there and collects dust, and then I’m pining over that next piece of exercise equipment that I’m sure I want but I really know it will take its place gathering dust with the others. (Don’t panic, Lion. I’m not talking about you or the cage.)
I thought I was brilliant when I gave Lion the task of making breakfast on the weekends. I’ve been doing breakfast every morning for the better part of a decade. It’s his turn now. I did not think this through. I should have kept the weekends and given him the weekdays.
Lion loves blueberry pancakes with walnuts. He won’t make them for himself and he never asks me to make them because I don’t like pancakes. Every so often I make him his pancakes and I either eat them too or make myself eggs. But this generally happens on the weekends. And guess whose job it is to make breakfast on the weekends. Not mine. Rats.
This may not seem like a major problem and in the overall scheme of things it isn’t. But it all goes back to my inconsistencies. If I tell him I want to make breakfast on a weekend, then haven’t I just undermined my own rule? When he was uncaged recently he wanted to be recaged as soon as possible and part of the reason was that he didn’t want me to slip into my old habit again. If I make breakfast one weekend day once in a while, is it a slippery slope that soon goes to both days every weekend? And then what about the other rules? I admit I haven’t made many, but I don’t want to lose whatever progress I made. On the other hand, I make the rules so I should be able to amend them on a moment’s notice.
When I spoke to Lion about this he said he’d thought of the pancake problem too. I don’t know if he had any fixes in mind, but I do. Obviously, I could just take that one day back every few weeks and make him his pancakes. Or we could swap a day. I make pancakes on Sunday and he makes breakfast Monday. Or, and this is my favorite but certainly won’t be his, he can do weekdays while I do weekends.
The important part is to keep the communication flowing. If we can’t solve the pancake problem, how can we solve the bigger problems that are sure to arise along the way?
Things have been quiet here. I’ve been sick with an infection in my leg. Between the antibiotics and other drugs, most of my time has been spent in bed. Yesterday’s post was written over several 15 minute sessions between rest periods. I had three trips to the doctor in three days. Things are starting to get better now. I’m completely tired of being sick. While I was sleeping some things changed here.
As you may have noticed, Southwood Princess is no longer on this site. Some readers expressed disappointment that we no longer have two couples here. Perhaps in the future another couple will join us here.
One of the biggest challenges to people trying to learn about forced male chastity is finding reliable information. It’s particularly hard for new keyholder to find information that is based on more than some male’s fantasy. I started this site to offer useful information from real couples who are embracing male chastity. Even though I have been writing about and teaching workshops on this subject for over 15 years, I never seriously considered being caged. The idea has always turned me on, but I never took the plunge. In January I asked Mrs. Lion if she would lock me up. She agreed. If you go back to our earliest posts you can see our evolution. Because of the doctor visits, I was uncaged for two full days and nights. This is the longest since I was locked up in January. Contrary to what others have written, I didn’t get homesick for my cage. But I did feel that my chastity device is a key part of all of the changes we have made. I asked lioness to cage me after my Friday doctor visit.
Lioness expressed some surprise that I wanted the cage back while I was still sick. I wanted to make sure that we continue making progress in this new approach to our sexuality. I didn’t want to take a chance that with the cage off, there would be a loss of momentum. It would be way too easy to just “forget” about forced chastity and the improved communication we now share. When I mentioned that to Mrs. Lion, she thought I was being silly. So I asked point-blank, “Do you still want me locked up? Really?” She immediately said that she does.
With us, chastity started as something I wanted and Mrs. Lion agreed to because it was important to me. I am grateful that she was willing to do that for me. Now, however, I think that she is finding benefits too. How about that? Some big things happened while I was sleeping.