A Christmas Spanking

Merry Day after Christmas! Actually, I’m writing this post on Christmas day. We just put our turkey breast in the sous vide for its five-hour cook. I’ve turned up the temperature from 145^o  to 150^o. Mrs. Lion found the turkey too juicy at the lower temp. According to my reading, the higher temperature will be more like the traditional drier meat she’s used to.

We don’t have many holiday traditions beyond the big turkey dinner. I’m getting a Christmas “present” I’m sure not to like: a spanking. Mrs. Lion started to spank me on Christmas Eve, but I had to stop because my shoulder was hurting too much. It had been sore all day. She made it very clear that I would be getting a very thorough beating today. I’ve earned it. She says I’ve been interrupting her. She hates that. Also, I forgot to return my coffee mug to the kitchen, another punishable sin. She doesn’t need any of Santa’s elves to help her get me to yelp. She’s very good at that by herself.

Could this be the start of a new Christmas tradition: turkey, stuffing, potatoes, and a very sore lion bottom?

I’m not complaining. After all, it was my idea. Over twenty years ago, soon after we first me, I asked her to spank me. She agreed and has never gone back on her word. There have been times when I’ve regretted making that request, usually when I feel her strapping me down on our spanking bench.  Too late, Lion. I know. Am I sorry that I asked her? Nope, not at all. As weird as it sounds, I must admit that spanking has been a positive force in our relationship.

No, I’m not claiming that I have behavioral problems that need maternal correction. I’m an adult who is in good control of his life. I know that a lot of men claim that they need their wives to spank them to correct behavioral problems. I’m not in that camp. I find it hard to believe a woman would marry a guy that incapable of controlling his behavior.

We’re a little different. Like those other guys, I want my wife to spank me. I don’t think it’s mental pathology. It’s a pretty harmless sexual kink. It’s complicated in that I don’t get aroused when I’m spanked. I’m aroused by the knowledge that I will be spanked and the memories of past sessions. There’s more to it than that, a lot more.

In addition to that sexual kink, it turns out that spanking can also be a helpful tool for balancing relationship power. Our marriage is fairly traditional. I pay the bills and make most of the decisions. It’s the way Mrs. Lion likes it, and it feels very natural for me. The problem with it is that Mrs. Lion loses her equality. A “Father Knows Best” marriage is a benign dictatorship. Mrs. Lion is certainly not up for that.

Spanking me in a BDSM context doesn’t transfer any power to her. She’s doing something I want. This is also true when she enforces the trivial rules that earned me most of my paddlings. Forgetting to put a coffee mug in the sink or not reminding her of punishment day, don’t rise to the level of causing her any real angst. They just provide a “reason” to spank me, something that I want.

She likes the game of catching me breaking a rule. She loves games. The outcome is a sore bottom for me. It’s a win-win. To our surprise, we discovered that I actually changed when we played this game. I stop breaking the rules that get me spank. Well, I mostly stop. When I slip, I’m back on the spanking bench. I rarely slip again…for a while.

When we started with the rules, I hoped that Mrs. Lion would expand them to include things that really bothered her. I didn’t realize this seemingly trivial change was a profound shift. I wanted her to spank me if I upset her. There is a very good reason for wanting this. Mrs. Lion has a lot of trouble expressing anger. It’s incredibly rare for her to growl or snarl at me. Instead, she internalizes the anger, and it festers until she starts ignoring me. This shuts down communication and makes us both unhappy.

I figured that if we simply added rules that covered pissing her off, she would have an easy way to show me how she was feeling. If she can spank me for not setting up the coffee pot, she should be able to do it for upsetting her. It didn’t work out that way. I think that the same internal stresses that prevents her from growling at me, also stops her from spanking me.

We agree that spanking to cover interrupting her and other thoughtless behavior would be useful. She pointed out that learning to snarl would also help. I agree. She also worries that if she spanks me when she is angry would cause her to get carried away and hurt me. I disagree. She has enough self-control to spank me safely, even when upset. Sure, she might make it worse for me, but she wouldn’t actually injure me.

It isn’t that I think it is important to spank me while she’s upset. It’s important to remove barriers that prevent her from expressing her feelings. She also worries that maybe it isn’t just me that upset her. Maybe it was work or something else that contributed to  her upset. Sure, it could be. My point is that for the dual purpose of removng barriers, and spanking me because I want it, she shouold disregard those other factors.

This is all very easy for me to say, but difficult for her to do. My suggestion is that she keep in mind that I want her to find more reasons to paddle me. I’m asking her for that. Any reason that lands me on the spanking bench is a good one. If we look at this objectively, the purpose isn’t fairness or justice; it’s finding reasons to do something I want. It’s the same game if I forget the coffee pot or i interrupt. Oops, you know what happens now. You always smile when you say that, Mrs. Lion.