Yes, she uses this paddle to spank me. It may look sweet, but it hurts! This is Mrs. Lion’s favorite view of me. She likes my balls.

I sent over 30 agents a request to represent my book. Two have rejected it. I will look for more. Now it is time to wait and see. Enough book talk! It’s been 19 days since my last spanking. I asked Mrs. Lion not to spank me the other day. Apparently, she has taken that request to mean that maintenance spankings are up to me to request. That isn’t what I had in mind at all. They are up to her.

Since I only have two enforced rules, it’s pretty easy for me to avoid the paddle. It’s also no fun for Mrs. Lion if she can’t catch me being naughty. Our version of domestic discipline has a game aspect. The game is useful and constructive, but it is a game. The rules are simple. Mrs. Lion makes rules that I have to follow. If I break one, I get spanked. In addition to the stated rules, she can also punish me for annoying her.

I like the game. I get hard when I think or write about it. That doesn’t mean that I like being spanked. I don’t. Mrs. Lion doesn’t fool around when she spanks me. No matter how trivial the offense, I get a minimum of ten minutes of seriously painful paddling. That’s the penalty for getting caught breaking a rule. The game requires Mrs. Lion to do this 100 percent of the time. No exceptions. If I go any length of time without earning punishment, I am supposed to get a “Just Because” spanking. That reminds us we are always playing our game.

I want to suggest that we need to step our game up. There is a built-in problem with our game: I learn to avoid breaking my rules. Even though we approach domestic discipline lightly, it is effective. Since I get punished every time I forget to set up the coffee pot or close the shower door, I get conditioned to make sure I do those things. Mrs. Lion rarely punishes me for annoying her, so I continue to do annoying things.

We had other rules. They were never revoked. I just don’t break them. I will forget to set up the coffee pot. My memory tends to fade as time elapses. When I do, I will get another ten-minute spanking. That will recharge my memory. That interval is getting longer and longer. That’s good news in terms of improving me. It doesn’t help the game.

time to step things up

We can exist on “Just Because” spankings. They keep the game alive. In a way, they remind us that we need more specific reasons to spank me. I’ve been spanked five times since March first. Three of them were for the new-at-the-time shower door rule. We had one “Just Because” spanking. My last spanking was for the coffee pot on April 8. It didn’t take me very long to be trained to close the shower door and remember the coffee pot. I’m sure I’ll forget at some point, but you can see that consistent punishment effectively trains me.

Mrs. Lion hasn’t been able to come up with more reasons to punish me. She has a very hard time spontaneously spanking me for something that wasn’t spelled out specifically. Do you remember “The Big Bang Theory?” Sheldon drafted contracts for everything. It feels like we have a punishment agreement that has to specify exactly what earns me spankings. That’s too bad.

There are opportunities to catch me doing things that deserve attention. They haven’t been specifically defined in our punishment agreement. This inability to punish subjective offenses isn’t just a problem for Mrs. Lion. Other couples have the same issue. I get it. Behavioral correction isn’t organic for a wife to do to her husband. Specific, concrete rules overcome this problem.  The problem is that most of the reasons she should punish me can’t be spelled out the same way forgetting to set up the coffee pot can be.

That means we have to find more concrete rules to keep playing. It’s as much fun for me as it is for her when I know I’m just inches away from a spanking. We both get an emotional charge when Mrs. Lion discovers that I’ve earned a paddling. The charge is different for each of us. I get a sort of sexual arousal when I’m caught. It doesn’t last because I hate the spanking I will get. Mrs. Lion gets a kind of “Ah-ha!” charge out of catching me. She says she doesn’t enjoy spanking me. I think she does because she gets satisfaction from making me yelp and feels my punishment for days afterward.

The rewards are different, but they do keep us playing. We need more rules. Mrs. Lion knows this but hasn’t been able to come up with any that she feels comfortable enforcing. I hope she can find some. We enjoy the challenge.

Listen to this post.