A Quiet Christmas

Merry Christmas! We didn’t exchange gifts. We were supposed to be going away in February to see my son receive his lieutenant’s bar when he completes his residency for his physician’s assistant training. However, the landlord sprang the whole “get out of the house” thing on us and we can either afford the time and money to move or to go to the pinning ceremony. You know which one we’d rather do, but adulting is hard. Anyway, we are each other’s presents again this year. It’s a present I don’t mind receiving year after year.

The other night, Lion brought up when I said I thought I’d get bored with him. He asserted that he’s not a boring person. He’s been on all sorts of adventures and met all sorts of famous people. It’s true. He is not a boring person. However, what I actually said was that I worried I’d get bored with BDSM. While there is variety, it’s pretty much the same stuff over and over again. And for a long time, he got sex every night, although not BDSM every time. When he brings up the boring thing, I’ve always corrected him and each time, he seems surprised.

Obviously, I can’t say I didn’t sign up for this. I agreed to spank him all those years ago. In my defense, I was probably already starting to fall in love with him at that point whether I knew it or not. It seemed harmless at the time. I’m not saying it’s not harmless now. With the benefit of hindsight, would I have answered differently? We’ve certainly had more good times than bad. Over the years, he’s told me he can give up BDSM if I don’t want to do it anymore. I believed him the first time. Maybe I believed him a little bit the second time. But it’s not something he can give up. I don’t even want him to.

That said, I guess I do take breaks from it from time to time without really realizing I’m doing it. It’s not foremost in my mind, for the most part. Lion realizes it. Eventually, he gets whiny about it like yesterday’s post. Poor Lion isn’t getting enough attention. It’s the end of sex (and the world) as we know it. It’s not. The pendulum will swing back in his direction. Sometimes he’s just not a patient person.