Thursday night was a bust in terms of sex. Mrs. Lion had a 5:30 PM doctor’s appointment. She brought home burgers and fries, a big treat for us. She also brought me a chocolate milkshake. Yum! When we finished eating, I fell asleep for a while. All those carbs and sugar put me out. OK, a burger treat is better than sex sometimes. Maybe we will try a boner shot again tonight (Friday).
Much as I hate to admit it, my spanking on Wednesday put writing Mrs. Lion a daily email top of mind. I’m a grown man, for goodness sake. Spanking is absolutely effective as a way to get me to learn or remember. If you strip away the fantasy/kink rituals some people attach to domestic discipline, it turns out to be a useful marital aid.
I realize that most people say that they are unwilling to consider adult spanking for any reason, yet a large number of adults fantasize about it1. The study reported that 36.3% of women and 46.2% of men specifically fantasize about being spanked. Fantasies about getting or giving oral sex scored much lower for both sexes. Also, the number of participants who fantasized about being more generally submissive was much higher.
What this shows is that there is a significant sexual root in spanking. I’m not surprised, but I imagine a lot of “vanilla” people might be. Of course, few of these people actually turn their fantasies into reality. That’s true of most fantasies, especially sexual ones. As I see it, there is a lot of latent interest in spanking for fun and discipline. Since virtually all of the people in the study who fantasized about spanking also fantasized about being submissive, it’s fair to say that converting a man or woman who has a sexual desire to be spanked into the subject of domestic discipline is very easy.
I can’t prove it since there are no studies I can find that cover this subject, but I strongly suspect that non-religious domestic discipline is rooted in the sexual fantasy of being spanked. So far, I haven’t come across any men whose wives proposed spanking them, I think it is fair to say that the men (and women) who get disciplinary spankings requested them. That’s how it worked with us. I asked Mrs. Lion to make and enforce rules. She’s become very effective in doing it. I’ve come to appreciate her consistent, strict enforcement. My behavior has changed as a result.
I’ve also noticed that a lot of the men who like to have “serious” discussions about their domestic discipline practices also hate to admit any sexual connection. There appears to be a lot of rationalization around “needing” help correcting behavioral problems. I accept that they wanted/needed help, but why ask to be spanked as the mode of correction. If we’re talking about adult punishment, wouldn’t time-outs, removal of recreational activities, and even writing assignments be at least as effective as spanking? Those punishments have no sexual component and as far as I can tell, are rarely used.
That appears to be evidence that the spanking sexual fantasy combined with the submissive fantasy are significant components of domestic discipline. I don’t see anything wrong with this. From our experience, spanking has been effective in my behavior modification. Even though there are sexual roots, it’s still very unpleasant and sends a message that has changed my behavior.
I doubt spanking or any other adult punishment will cure substance abuse or serious behavioral problems. But at least it does get me to do my chores and avoid pissing off Mrs. Lion. It’s not 100 percent effective. But if Mrs. Lion seriously spanks me each time I forget, it resets my behavior, at least for a while. Over time, my misses get fewer and fewer. The threat of the paddle works on my unconscious.
Occasionally, one of the “serious” discussions of domestic discipline touches on the fact that sex seems to improve after a spanking. This confirms the suspicion that there is a sexual component to the practice. I’ve read accounts by at least two disciplinary wives that they believe it’s the sexual component to spanking that makes it easy to get their men into position for punishment. They confirm that once the punishment begins and it’s too late to escape, the sexual component is forgotten by their partners, and they realize they are being punished. In other words, it’s our sexual attraction to spanking that helps make us docilely get into position for punishment.
That’s embarrassing to admit, but it’s true for me. I should realize that the spanking I’m going to get will not be sexy or fun. It will hurt and make me want to escape. Yet, every time Mrs. Lion gets out the spanking bench, I mount it and let her strap me down and spank me. Stupid, huh? No, it’s the way I’m wired and my acceptance of my lioness’ authority. In a very real sense, it’s a dream come true.
1Joyal, C. C., Cossette, A., & Lapierre, V. (2015). What Exactly Is an Unusual Sexual Fantasy? The Journal of Sexual Medicine, 12(2), 328-340. https://doi.org/10.1111/jsm.12734