I was spanked again on Thursday evening. It was a mild (for Mrs. Lion) spanking. I think she is intentionally starting off slowly to help us both get comfortable/uncomfortable with domestic discipline again. Sex isn’t working out quite as well. I think that the problem may be our approach.

When Mrs. Lion wants to spank me, she takes out the spanking bench and tells me to mount it. There is no ambiguity about what is going to happen. We are both focused on one thing. There are no distractions. Sex is very different. Mrs. Lion will approach me while we are watching TV. We are on our bed.. She will begin by fondling my penis and balls. My attention isn’t entirely focused on what she is doing.

This isn’t her fault. It’s a combination of the situation and our expectations. Mrs. Lion isn’t sure that she will find me receptive. Her actions are exploratory. My reaction is almost certainly hurt by the ambiguity of the way we go about this. I’m worried that I won’t be able to perform. I’m not focused on sex. It’s this problem of mine that prompted me to get the second massage table. My theory was that if we relocated to another place, just as we do with spanking, our focus would be on what we would be doing.

It’s true that Mrs. Lion would have a hard time giving oral sex when I am on the massage table. At least she thinks so. We haven’t tried it. It is, however, ideal for CBT and handjobs. More importantly, it focuses me on what is happening. I may be wrong, but I think that any conditioning I can get to signal that i should be sexually aroused will be helpful.

It doesn’t have to be the massage table. It just has to be a change that informs me to get aroused. Mrs. Lion approaches spanking as a no-nonsense, let’s-get-down-to-business activity. Sex is tentative. She tests the waters to see if I’m interested. She’s right that sex won’t work if I’m not interested, but that doesn’t mean the best approach is to ask me if I want sex.

We both know that I’m more than a little gun-shy. I’ve been failing at getting hard and getting off for months. I hate that I’m failing at something so important. I’m my own worst enemy at this point. I need to do more. If we combine using the Trimix with the same sort of structure we use for spanking, it might help me. If I’m getting in my own way, then perhaps Mrs. Lion should take my ability to choose out of the picture for a while.

It was the way we worked when I wore a male chastity device. I was unlocked when Mrs. Lion decided I should get some sexual attention. She didn’t always ask me if I wanted fun. Well, sometimes she did, and then told me it was too bad I had to wait. The point is that I felt she was in charge. Sure, it’s way easier to deny sex than to demand it. But it still fits our power exchange. When I was desperate for sex, denying me was a fun way to demonstrate lioness power. Now that sex is difficult for me, isn’t requiring it the other side of the same coin?

i was forced to come every half hour

More correctly, enforced male chastity isn’t orgasm denial. It’s orgasm control. For most couples, the idea of enforced orgasm is a lot kinkier than enforced chastity. There were a few times in the past when I was in an enforced orgasm situation. One afternoon, my partner told me I would have an orgasm every half hour. I didn’t believe I could do it. I was over forty at the time.

She had me undress and led me into the bedroom, and jerked me off. I liked that a lot. After I came, she set a 30-minute timer. When it went off, she took my hand and led me back to the bed. It took a lot longer for me to come. She didn’t care. She switched hands when one got tired. When I finished, she set the timer. After the third orgasm, I was a little sore and not in the mood for more sex. Too bad. The timer went off, back to bed. She used lube since I was getting sore. I think it took a half hour for me to come. She wouldn’t quit.

After the sixth orgasm, she took mercy on me. I had been shooting blanks since the third orgasm. I was dry and done. She was tired too. It was an unforgettable afternoon. I was surprised she could get me off when I was drained and tired of being jerked off. Determination won out.

I don’t think this could happen now. But that experience suggests I’m not the best judge of my ability to respond sexually. Determination wins out every time.

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