Not So Hard In Seattle

We tried the Quadmix again on Friday. I repeated the .30 ml dose. It produced a less-than-insertable boner. Mrs. Lion tried oral. It felt good, but I didn’t get close to an orgasm. The erection subsided after about an hour and a half. I think the next step is to try .35 ml and see if it does the trick. This is a discouraging process. The actual injection didn’t hurt at all, but I had some injection-site pain after I got hard. I didn’t experience the ache I felt on my first Quadmix try.

I don’t mean to bore you with these posts about my ED experiences, but there is almost nothing on the Web from the patient’s point of view. Most discussions are ads from pharmacies trying to sell various ED products. Others are from medical sources who offer good information but nothing from the patient’s point of view. I want to help fill that gap.

Dealing with erectile dysfunction is difficult. It means confronting the most significant symbol of being male. When it becomes impossible to get an erection, it also becomes much more difficult to feel masculine. Before, I wouldn’t have sex with other women and was prohibited from masturbating. Now, I can’t. There is a giant gap between won’t and can’t. Sex is important to me. My body doesn’t agree.

It isn’t like I had prostate surgery or cancer. My prostate is fine, and I’m cancer free. Yet, I can’t get it up. I can’t. What’s wrong with me? I’m trying to treat the symptom. We’ve made a little progress there. But have we? My ability to get aroused to the point of orgasm is also gone. There’s no drug to help that. It’s been sixteen days since my last orgasm–thank you for asking. That’s long enough for me to be pretty horny, but I’m not.

I suppose I should focus on the Quadmix and getting an insertion-ready erection. Once we achieve that, maybe my libido will get the hint and turn on. Mrs. Lion mentioned that spanking has also been out of the picture for a while. As of Saturday it’s been 28 days since I rode the spanking bench. Could that be part of it? Maybe.

I’m probably owed a spanking. I got angry at Mrs. Lion because she let the dog escape her fenced-in yard. She said she was upset that I growled at her. She didn’t say she was going to spank me. I’m pretty sure that she will decide I earned a punishment. She has trouble punishing me for upsetting her. I suspect she will get over that problem this time. Stay tuned.

Listen to this post.