I Hate Heights

Over twenty years ago, my ex and I built an addition on our house. One of my rules was that I didn’t get on anything higher than an eight-foot step ladder. That didn’t last long. Soon I was on the twelve-foot step ladder. My new rule was that I didn’t get on the roof. That rule lasted until we built another addition which was two stories. Suddenly, one-story didn’t seem high anymore. However, I stuck to my guns about the two-story roof.

I worked at Target for five years. I started in the backroom, running up ladders that were at least 15 feet tall. I even got brave enough to do stupid things like lean way over the edge. It had to be done to get the merchandise. It’s not that I was no longer afraid of heights. I just felt confident that I wasn’t going to plunge to my death.

When Lion wanted an antenna mounted for his ham radio, I figured it wouldn’t be a problem. It’s a one-story house. I got this. I’m up and down ladders replacing batteries for our Ring cameras. It’s no big deal to get on the roof. Well, it turns out it is a big deal. I already knew the transition from ladder to roof would be hard. I forgot just how hard. I also forgot that it had been over twenty years since I’d been on a roof.

Once I got the ladder in a good place, I was able to get my butt on the roof. I was not able to get far enough up the roof to stand. I kept sliding on those stupid little gravel bits on the asphalt roof. I told Lion I couldn’t do it. He called the handyman who said it would be a few weeks before he could make it. Guess who had to figure out how to get up on the roof. I put on my big girl panties and made it up. I got on both feet. Once I got that far, I knew I’d be okay.

I mounted the antenna bracket to the chimney, and we were all set for the antenna. But first, a water break. The sun had come out and I forgot how hot asphalt roofs can be. Again, I made it up onto the roof, pulled the antenna and mounting pole up, and I was ready for round two. Now the antenna is set up, with possible tweaks needed to tighten the brackets better. I got them as tight as I could. Maybe the handyman can do it better when he has a chance. For now, the cable is in the house and Lion is doing whatever Lion is doing to find signals.

I’m achy and I have road rash on my elbow from said stupid little gravel bits on the roof, but Lion is happily playing with his new toy.