Kinky Evolution

Things change. That’s no surprise to anyone. Even kink changes over time. We change what we call things. BDSM was “Leather” a decade ago. No biggie. The Internet tends to shorten things and loves initials. There have been more interesting changes. Take spanking, for example.

In 2010 it was a big deal to talk about spanking on the “bare.” Somehow, the erotic connotations of exposing a naked bottom added spice to the spanking conversation. It always seemed odd to me. In all my years in the BDSM community, I never saw a spanking that wasn’t on a bare bottom. But “on the bare” was an important component in spanking discussions.

That’s changed. I almost never see references to the exposure of the bottom in the context of spanking. I’m glad because references to pants up or down seem childish. Conversations center on much more relevant topics. Also, I’ve noticed that there is less talk about the actual act of spanking. Very few things are written with blow-by-blow accounts. The talk is more about the reason for the spanking and the results once it’s done.

Male chastity has also evolved. When we started this blog in 2014, chastity device discussions centered around “security.” People worried about being able to escape the device for a jerkoff session. The result was that a lot of men had to lubricate their base rings to avoid chafing. Unauthorized removal fears trumped comfort. Silly, when you think about it. Men initiate male chastity. Why would they want to cheat after working hard to get their partners to lock them up?

Another change was shorter cages. I would like to think that I had something to do with that bit of evolution. When I started male chastity, I followed measurement instructions and ordered a Jail Bird with a 2-1/2 inch cage. It didn’t take me long to realize that there were times my penis was shorter and there was space in the front of the cage. The result was that peeing became a messy challenge. It sprayed when it hit the bars in the front.

I went through two rounds of shortening. I finally ended up with a one-inch cage. It was barely long enough to contain the head of my penis. As a result, my urethra remained centered, and urination was no problem. Also, the device was comfortable to wear. I have it on now and forget it’s there. Holy Trainer and others offer off-the-shelf cages that are very short, like mine. The purpose of a male chastity device is to prevent erections and unauthorized masturbation. My tiny Jail Bird does that perfectly.

It seems to me that the combination of easy access to information and the ability to share the reality of these kinks allows us to learn from one another. It’s exciting that our exotic practices can find communities that support positive growth. Yay Internet!