Beyond Jerking Off

We are both experiencing stomach issues since starting Nutrisystem’s weight loss program. I don’t normally have problems with changes in diet. The fact that both of us have the same symptoms worries me. Mrs. Lion is convinced that it’s just the dietary change. Maybe she’s right. It’s working, and we are both losing weight. Sex has been off the table since one or both of us have been uncomfortable.

I put a little poll on Twitter (click here to participate) asking women how they feel about watching a man jerk off. Mrs. Lion only watched me once before instituting her “hands off” rule. I supposed that means she isn’t entertained. [Mrs. Lion — Why watch when it’s more fun to do it myself?] Early results on the poll suggest that a large majority of the people responding do enjoy watching and find it a turn-on. The dissenting opinion is that it does nothing for the viewer. I should qualify the question I asked. I’m referring to watching a lover jerk off, not some sleazy stranger.

The next logical topic is whether women like to “help” a man jerk off. Most of the partners I’ve had enjoy that role. They may not have been in the mood for full-scale sex, and this was a way to satisfy me without doing too much work. I realized that at the time, but I also figured it was better than having them simply say,”No.”

Apropos of nothing, I received an email ad from RodeoH. This is a great online shop that sells a unique kind of strapon; panties reinforced with a dildo holder in the front. They have lots of styles. They also sell dildos and other assorted female toys. Their main market is lesbians, but their products are fun for straight women too. When I think about it, there are almost no sex toys for men. The girls get dildos, vibes, and all sorts of fun ways to replace us. The market for guys is far more limited.

Sex toys, for me, are pretty dull. The biggest category is masturbators. These are devices that supposedly imitate sex with a partner. They are usually silicone sleeves surrounded by devices to vibrate or jerk off the penis. I’ve never tried one that got me to orgasm. The main reason is that they don’t respond to my arousal. They are simply mechanical gadgets that plug along. One day, someone will add sensors that detect arousal and have servos to adjust the action to provide best sensation. That would be worth trying!

There is a category of sex toy that both men and women can use. That, of course, is anal stuffers. Women have an advantage when it comes to anal toys. Many can get aroused and orgasm from anal stimulation. Many men, like me, can’t sustain an erection while something is up their butts. That doesn’t mean that we don’t like anal play.

Anal play is a little like spanking to me. When Mrs. Lion shoves things up my ass, I’m usually uncomfortable. When I think about her doing it, I get aroused. The trick is to get enough ass-stuffing to keep the fantasy alive. When Mrs. Lion worked on pegging me, I wasn’t fond of the sensation but loved that she was doing it. I still wonder if I will learn to like it if she keeps it up long enough. (Hint, hint.)

I see it’s getting late. Orifice hours are over.

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