Mrs. Lion was out yesterday. She had a conference in the city. It’s way too quiet here without her. We generally write about spanking in the context of punishment. It’s the only kind of spanking I get. Discussions are limited to why I earned it and how it went. There’s an area of knowledge that gets neglected: spanking technique.

I’m an expert. I spent a long time giving spankings and running workshops. Now, I have over five years of being on the receiving end. Let’s start with the obvious. A spanking is supposed to hurt. That’s the only reason to spank someone. You want them to hurt enough to learn the lesson you are teaching. Depending on the individual spanking, the pain will end soon after the last swat or will be felt when sitting down for days.

We’ve discovered that there are three levels of spanking implements. The least severe is the hand of the spanker. That doesn’t mean a hand spanking is painless. Uh uh! But it is the least severe. Next are flexible implements like leather or rubber. They can be very painful. A leather paddle is a very good starter tool. Straps are relatively easy to use as well.

The last and most severe implements are made of rigid materials. Wood is the most popular and, for me, the most fearsome. Wood paddles are available in a lot of sizes and shapes. Generally, severity is a function of the weight/thickness of the paddle and the length of the handle. Mrs. Lion has a lot of wood paddles.

Hands and leather tend to create a red bottom. They rarely bruise. Also, the person being spanked will become numb after a while and won’t feel pain. You can increase the force, but it usually has limited value. Still, a hard, fast spanking with leather can produce tears and regret.

I’ve never managed to get numb enough to stop yelping when spanked with wood. When Mrs. Lion has used leather, I feel pain recede a bit. Of course, she hasn’t increased force or speed. She’s just getting used to the tools.

From my experience and what I’ve read, most notably the Disciplinary Wives Club, a spanking needs to last a minimum length of time. They suggest using a timer. Their program calls for a minimum of ten minutes for a single offense and adds five minutes for each additional.

Mrs. Lion uses a timer. It makes a big difference. I’ve discovered that the longer the duration, the more I hate the spanking. If she uses a combination of leather and wood, it’s sheer hell. It’s supposed to be. It makes me work hard to avoid being spanked.

appearance and experience

Each bottom is different. Some people bruise easily. Others, like me, rarely show a bruise. Some don’t get pink or red easily–that’s me again. Others get very red. Some will bleed. I’m one of the bleeders. It isn’t that Mrs. Lion is cutting me. Strong spanking produces “blisters” and gives the skin a leathery texture. The skin swells and sometimes cracks.

This bleeding is trivial and will stop soon after the spanking. The biggest problem is the mess. Even a few drops of blood will spray if hit by a paddle. Mrs. Lion keeps a damp washcloth available for quick cleanup. Blood does not stop a spanking. Another option is to apply a small bandaid (dot or patch) over the spot and continue. I am far less likely to bleed if hit with leather or other flexible materials.

From my position on the bottom, I can say without any reservation that wood is the worst. Mrs. Lion is returning to wood for at least half of the time she is beating me. She likes making my bottom red, but the purpose is to make me very unhappy. She also likes me to feel the spanking for a couple of days afterward. Wood is the only way to do that.

We learned that even a punishment spanking requires build-up. If Mrs. Lion starts at full force, I’ll be in too much pain for her to continue after just a few swats. It’s true that a punishment spanking is supposed to hurt. But, it has to go on for a full ten minutes. If she starts slow and easy, I will get used to the feeling. It doesn’t take more than a minute for her to build up to yelp-producing swats. She can increase intensity as I get more used to being spanked. Her goal is to make me hate every second of my spanking. She usually does.

punishment vs “just because”

We’ve also learned that if I’m punishment-free for too long, we both lose our edge. So, if I haven’t earned a punishment in a while–generally a couple of weeks–I get one “just because.” It turns out that most of the time there turns out to be a reason for my spanking. I interrupted or annoyed her, and she didn’t bother calling me on it. She remembers the offense when she gets out the spanking bench for a”just because” session.

She’s gone back and forth on whether or not a “just because” spanking should be as severe as a punishment. I believe it should be exactly the same. These spankings refocus us on our disciplinary marriage. They also give Mrs. Lion a chance to experiment with tools and techniques. Speaking of that, she can schedule more frequent “just because” spankings to help her refine technique or to get me back into the right mindset. I can get grumpy or act spoiled. A session on the spanking bench quickly cures that.

I believe that others who practice domestic discipline have made the same discovery. It may seem unfair, but the fact is that regular spankings, earned or not, are required to maintain marital balance. It isn’t that Mrs. Lion needs to be my mistress or queen. She’s my wife, and part of her role is to punish me when needed. She also spanks me to keep things balanced and happy.

It doesn’t matter that the spanking is painful. Giving and getting it helps keep us close. It’s a very important expression of love.

Listen to this post.