We have a large collection of implements designed to make me sorry I did something wrong. Mrs. Lion uses a small subset of the collection. However, her selection includes examples of the various materials and designs we’ve collected. Having been spanked by her for about two decades, I consider myself an expert on which materials, shapes, and sizes rank most unpleasant.

Rating spanking implements from my side of the paddle isn’t an expression of my preferences. Mrs. Lion can make our mildest implement a scream-producing instrument of pain and suffering. That’s not to say there are some that do the job with a lot less effort.

The most painful paddles are made of wood. Hardwoods are the worst. Size and weight count, but not as much as you might think. Very light paddles made of pine don’t count at all. The best they can do is inflict some sting. They will break before they make a strong point. Oak, maple, cherry, and exotics like bloodwood and Bubinga are hard and dense. Their tight grain and density assure that even a relatively thin paddle will produce bruises. The minimum effective thickness of a wood paddle is 5/8-inch. Thinner paddles, even made from hardwoods, don’t have the weight to do the job without a lot of arm strength. The longer the handle and the smaller the spanking surface contribute to creating an efficient pain-delivery system. Spanking with a wooden paddle will almost always cause me to blister and bleed a little.

Next in line are the rubber implements. Mrs. Lion has a few made from conveyor belt material and one paddle made from dense, solid rubber. The conveyor belt material is made from several layers of rubber and heavy fibers laminated together. The resulting paddle is very flexible and heavy. I hate being spanked with one of these. It doesn’t take much to make my bottom blister and bleed. The solid rubber paddle is like a heavy wooden paddle. It’s no fun at all.

The last group is leather and silicone. There are relatively few silicone paddles. We have one small item that is perfect for those tender spots like my perineum or inside my crack. I hate when Mrs. Lion gets that little paddle out and goes to work. I’m lucky that so far, she spends very little time in those tender areas. One day, she’ll probably focus more, and I’ll be screaming and wishing I were better behaved. We have a larger silicone paddle that performs about the same as leather.

Speaking of which, leather is both good and bad news for me. My lioness has a range of leather items. A few of them have the potential to rival wood in their ability to make me scream. So far, she’s avoiding making serious use of them. Now that I get three punishment-day spankings a week, if she wishes, she can perfect using them.

I prefer being spanked by leather. It’s less likely to raise blisters and screams from me. I can usually get fairly numb after a couple of minutes and actually enjoy the spanking. The reason for this is that Mrs. Lion hasn’t applied the force needed to make me unhappy.

We also have a Lexan paddle (clear plastic). It feels about the same as wood to me. Some of the paddles have holes in them. Let me clear up a common belief that’s dead wrong. Holes do not make a paddle hurt more because they avoid trapping air. Some paddles with holes will hurt more and even cut because the edges of the holes are sharp. Chamfered holes (the correct way to make a paddle) do not cut. If you hit hard enough with one of these, you can produce dots on the butt of your victim. They won’t last long but could be amusing.

The objective of a disciplinary spanking is to inflict maximum pain. Bruising is often desired because each bruise will hurt for days after the punishment. It is very difficult to bruise me. Mrs. Lion has yet to work out how to produce a few reliably. Perhaps she will figure that out during my punishment-day spankings.

Listen to this post.