Our Version Of Domestic Discipline

We’ve been practicing domestic discipline almost as long as Mrs. Lion has taken control of my orgasms. I can’t claim that what we do is typical of spanking couples. I suspect that we aren’t very different from the others. Domestic discipline has a reputation of being a form of spousal abuse. After all, Mrs. Lion beats me if I don’t obey her. Sounds abusive.

It isn’t. In almost every relationship featuring spanking, the person who gets spanked initiates it. I have always found the idea of being spanked very arousing. When I was allowed to masturbate, my fantasies often had me over a woman’s knee, receiving a butt-blistering spanking. I’ve had those fantasies as far back as I can remember.

In the beginning

Before we began disciplinary spankings, Mrs. Lion would paddle me as part of a BDSM scene. It was very hot. It took years before Mrs. Lion felt good about giving me a butt-bruising spanking. She didn’t want to hurt me. Punishing me was the furthest thing from her mind.

Way back in May 2014 I introduced my interest in spanking. I wrote (“Punishment or Fun“):

“I like feeling Mrs. Lion’s control. The true test of a punishment is whether it is something I want to avoid or invite. I invite spanking. I avoid shocks. I suspect I would invite short extensions of lockup time, but avoid longer ones (more than a week).”

That summer, Mrs. Lion incorporated spanking me into foreplay. This what she wrote on July 5 (“Lion’s Personal Fireworks“):

I decided to start out with a spanking. I warmed him up with my hand and asked if my toy was hard? He maneuvered his penis so it was peeking out from under his balls between his legs so I could have access to it. I few swats to his buns. A little fondling of the balls and cock. Very nice. Finally I moved on to the nasty rubber paddle. I whomped his butt good. Toward the end I told him he had a series of hard swats coming and he wasn’t to move. He screamed into the pillows but managed to stay still. What a good boy!

Rubber paddle.

When I let him roll over his erection was standing tall. I played with him a little while with my hand and my mouth before straddling him. This time I was wet for him. I guess I really wanted him to come. It didn’t take long for his hips to start bucking into me. I love that! And there was one happy Lion.

He licked me to orgasm afterwards. I’m not sure how much of himself he cleaned out of me. It doesn’t really matter. I was happy. He was happy. And I like having his come inside me.”

Those were the days that Mrs. Lion enjoyed sex for herself. Even back in 2014, she was getting comfortable with spanking me hard enough to make me yelp. Spanking me as foreplay taught her that it was something I liked.

Late in 2014, I suggested that Mrs. Lion make rules and punish me for breaking them. Her first rules are still in force today. I was to wait for her to start eating before I begin and I avoid getting food on my shirt. She figured I would break them often enough to give us both practice with crime and punishment. She was right.

We exchanged a lot of posts in early 2015 about turning a spanking into a meaningful punishment. Finally, in early February Mrs. Lion decided to experiment. She would spank me every day for a week. I would get 300 swats with various paddles. The idea was for her to learn to deliver a truly memorable spanking and for me to learn to take one without trying to get away.

Here’s what she wrote about it (“More Baby Steps“):

“My experiment of punishing Lion every night for a week is to prove to myself I can do it. I know I can. But I have to drill it into my head that this is what he wants and I can do it. Lion wonders why I have focused on spanking as punishment. Well, he suggested it. And I have to start somewhere. Once I am more comfortable with it I may branch out into lengthening his wait, or taking away play days, or maybe something I haven’t thought of yet. Baby steps. I’ll get there.”

It turned out that her experiment spanking were more severe than any punishments she administered before and after she did her week of spanking experiments. By March of 2015 we were committed to domestic discipline. I was confused by the way Mrs. Lion chose to do it. She was content catching and punishing me for the few, rather-trivial rules she established.

Over the next six years, little changed in terms of what offenses earned me a spanking. Along the line, she added setting up the coffee pot to my required activities. Over the last year or two, that damn coffee pot has gotten me the most punishment.

turning up the volume

Although the scope of offenses hasn’t increased much, the punishments have become much more severe. Mrs. Lion is comfortable with her role as my disciplining wife. She no longer worries about punishing me. She is also immune to my yelps and cries. She spanks me until she is done.

A few months ago, I came across a letter written to the Disciplinary Wives Club that went into considerable detail about how members of that group spanked their husbands. It introduced a concept we never seriously considered: setting a timer to assure a spanking would last a minimum length. The DWC suggested at least ten minutes for one offense, with five minutes added for each additional offense. It was pointed out that the spanking didn’t have to end when the timer goes off. It just wouldn’t end before.

Mrs. Lion embraces this wholeheartedly. When the timer goes off, she keeps swatting and swatting and swatting. It doesn’t spell relief for me. It turned out that the duration of a punishment was the missing piece for us. A ten-minute spanking guarantees that it will hurt me to sit for at least two days afterward. Ten minutes feels like an hour. Fifteen is almost unbearable.

My punishments are very real. That doesn’t mean Mrs. Lion treats domestic discipline as some sort of femdom activity. Catching me offend is a game to her. She loves games. It’s fun to catch me and then see the look on my face when I realize that I will be punished. She says that spanking me isn’t fun for her. It’s just something she does when I offend.

It isn’t clear to me how Mrs. Lion thinks about the actual process of beating my bottom. I think she may consider it a craft, something to master. She wants my entire bottom to be red and sore. Most recently, she works on the inside of my crack as well. So far, there have been no lasting effects. As she practices, I’m sure there will be.

I don’t require punishment very often. Until Mrs. Lion adds more offenses to the list, I can go weeks without earning punishment. We’ve discovered that this creates a problem. From my perspective, as time goes by, I forget how much I hate being spanked. I start thinking of it sexually. This can make me sloppier about my behavior, but not bad enough under current rules to get spanked.

Mrs. Lion starts forgetting to be vigilant. Our disciplinary relationship fades into the background. Even though we’ve been at this for six years, domestic discipline isn’t a solid feature of our marriage. To fix this, Mrs. Lion introduced “just because” spankings. These are scheduled spankings giving just because I must have done something to earn them.  She decided I should get two a week on Monday and Thursday. Any real offenses will earn me additional punishment.

the binary spanker

Any spanking Mrs. Lion administers is at the same strict level if we are playing Spankardy or getting a just because spanking. It is just as painful as punishment for a misdeed just because spankings are at least ten minutes long and hurt as much as punishment.

Mrs. Lion is now a binary spanker. She has only one gear. If she is going to swat my bottom, it will blister me. If I spill on my shirt or get her massively angry, the punishment is the same. The same is true of games and BDSM play. If I am to be spanked, it will be a bare-bottom, butt-blistering event. We tried it other ways, and it didn’t work.

She is committed to perfecting her spanking skills. The twice-weekly “just because” spankings will give her plenty of practice. Now that we have a spanking bench and she puts it near her paddle collection, she will also experiment with different implements.

In a masochistic way, I’m curious about her “crack spanking.” Can she do some lasting damage there? It’s very tender. She spent a little time there last time I was spanked. It wasn’t fun at all.

what it means to us

Domestic discipline has evolved in our marriage. Punishments are real and painful. So far, Mrs. Lion restricts her offenses to trivial household things. She has said that she wants to punish me if I interrupt her or act like a know-it-all. I imagine that will be coming soon. In the meantime, we have found a disciplinary language that suits our marriage. Even if I’m never punished for upsetting her, she knows she has the power to do it if she wants. She also knows I want her to use her power more widely.

Like real lions, I can pretty much do what I want until I cross a line with my lioness. Then I will get a painful reminder to watch my step. A sore bottom is a good teacher.