If It’s Sex For Me Alone, How Do I Initiate Without Being Selfish?

Mrs. Lion and I appear to have a failure to communicate. In her post yesterday, she wrote about why we didn’t do anything sexual the night before, more accurately, why she didn’t do anything sexually for me.  She wrote:

“I think Lion was snoozing after dinner, so we didn’t do a warm-up. He seemed more interested in the TV show we were watching than anything else, and even then, he snoozed too.”

These are pretty typical of the reasons she gives. I fell asleep for a short time right after dinner. Mrs. Lion was relaxing and digesting her food. The tray was still on the bed. She wanted to rest before doing the dishes. Sex wouldn’t be possible even if I were awake. She said I seemed more interested in the TV show than anything else. How did she know? I was watching TV while she played on her iPad and watched TV with me. I don’t think I made any sounds that signified I was too engrossed in watching boobs trying to find gold to forego sex. I was watching TV because I had nothing else to do. I could just as easily say that Mrs. Lion was too engrossed in her iPad to want to give me sex.

That brings me to a very touchy subject. Sex is for me, not for her. She’s made it clear that she gets nothing from it. She said in her post:

“I know it’s hard for Lion to initiate. The thing is, how do I know if he’s even interested when he’s cocooned in the blankets? Yes, I could ask. But couldn’t he ask me? “

Initiate? Initiate what? When I ask, I’m not initiating sex; I’m begging for attention. It would be one thing if my “initiation” ended up giving us both orgasms, but it doesn’t. It’s me asking her to play with my cock and maybe suck it. If I ask if she feels up to “something,” I refer to sex for me. I really hate doing it.

She will generally oblige by playing with my cock under the covers–that doesn’t work well for either of us. Then she will say, “Want to come out?” That’s her signal that she is ready to give me oral attention. You have to agree that these exchanges are clinical at best. Sure, I’m happy when she wants to suck me. She’s very, very good at it. It doesn’t turn me on to be asked if I want to come out. I resolved not to ask anymore. What we are doing doesn’t feel very good to me. That may be a big reason I’m not very responsive until a couple of weeks have passed, and I’m more desperate for sex. That’s not great.

Mrs. Lion said that she resolved to do more BDSM. She thinks that lack of it might be the problem. I don’t think so. I believe she has no real incentive to want to do sexual things. Mrs. Lion has denied this in the past but has yet to explain why she should. Also, if you believe actions speak louder than words, read back over her posts. She proposes all sorts of potentially fun sexual ideas but doesn’t follow through with them. Most recently, it’s been Lion O’Clock. I’m not clear on exactly that is, but whatever it is, it hasn’t happened.

I don’t want to be a chore. I absolutely don’t want Mrs. Lion pushing herself to give me sex when she is tired or not feeling well. That’s not my point. Maybe what I want is no longer possible. I want at least some of my sex to be fun for her. I don’t think she realizes that I sense how she feels even though she delivers world-class oral. That’s why my interest isn’t as high as it might be.

What do you think?