We seem to have hit a barrier. Lion doesn’t want sex if he’s the only one who wants it. I don’t want sex because, well, I have no idea why. If neither of us wants sex, we have a problem. I don’t know what to do to make Lion understand that I want to make him happy. Apparently, he has the same problem. He asked the other day if I can have an orgasm, why don’t I want one.? I haven’t had an answer until one just popped into my head. Maybe I’m like an old stick shift car with a bad starter. I will not start, but if you push me down a hill and pop the clutch, I’ll run fine. Does the car care if it starts? No. Me either. Does the car care if you push it down a hill and pop the clutch? No. Me…well, I sort of mind.
I suppose the problem is that I’ve been doing things with and for Lion for so many years that it didn’t bother me when my sex drive sputtered and died. I still made Lion feel good. Or bad, depending on what I was doing to him at the time. It feels very artificial to me, to have an orgasm now. Why should Lion waste his time giving me an orgasm? I don’t care if I have one or not. He’s the one who wants an orgasm. Let’s focus on him. Except now he seems focused on my having an orgasm, and in some way, it’s causing issues with his having orgasms.
He feels bad that I do everything for him, and he does nothing for me. Got it. I understand. I’m afraid I have to disagree, but I understand. Maybe it’s similar to salads. He hates making them but loves eating them. I hate making them and eating them. Sometimes, if he asks for a salad, I make him one. Is that a problem? I don’t care if I have a salad or not, so why make it? [Lion — Because we both need the fiber!]
Maybe I need to call Lioness 4.0 and have her wield her paddle: Listen here, Lion. This is how it’s going to be. That weenie will get hard when I tell it to get hard. You will get to the edge as many times as I want you to get to the edge. And you will come only when I tell you you can come. Understood? [Lion — Works for me.]
Oh, 4.0! Where are you?
(By the way, Lion o’clock was supposed to be when we started to play at a random time during the day, probably on the weekends. It hasn’t happened so far, but I just came up with it the other day.)