Step Four: Regroup

I think Lion was snoozing after dinner, so we didn’t do a warm-up. He seemed more interested in the TV show we were watching than anything else, and even then, he snoozed too. I was sweating but too lazy to get up to turn on the fan. Lion was cocooned in the blankets, so I figured he’d be too cold for the fan to be on. I didn’t ask. He didn’t ask. Eventually, around ten, I guess, he asked if I was feeling okay. I said I was hot and, at that point, my stomach was doing flips. More correctly, I suppose, was the fact that I was wondering why I was the one who should always initiate.

[Lion — Generally, I ask Mrs. Lion if she wants to do “anything.” I was feeling guilty about that because I think she feels pressure if I mention it. I only asked later because she didn’t say anything either way. I decided not to ask for that reason.]

I know it’s hard for Lion to initiate. The thing is, how do I know if he’s even interested when he’s cocooned in the blankets? Yes, I could ask. But couldn’t he ask me? Sure. He seems to sometimes. He’ll say he guesses I’m too tired for anything. That’s my cue that he’s looking for love. Then he’ll say he doesn’t want me to if I don’t want to. And around and around we go. There’s nothing spontaneous about it. Maybe I shouldn’t argue with his attempts to initiate if that’s what they are. If I give him grief about it, it will reinforce his thoughts that I say no all the time, and he won’t try anymore.

We have some errands to run today, and I’m not sure how long they’ll take. We may not have time for Lion o’clock, but we’ll certainly have time for a warm-up. We’ve only tried warm-up once, and it didn’t go so well. I’m wondering if it shouldn’t be closer to sex. You know, more like foreplay. Of course, that’s what it would be. I’m not sure why warm-up would be preferable to foreplay. Anything that helps is certainly welcome.

What do you think?