I checked my book’s listing on Amazon this morning and discovered there are four reviews. All are five stars! Wow! Two of them are from Europe. I’m an international author. All that sounds great. Sales are horrible. I need more exposure. Just because I can write, it doesn’t mean I can promote. I can’t afford to pay a PR firm or buy extensive advertising. It’s always something. Meanwhile, I’m working on my second book. Practice makes perfect, I hope.
There is a theory that if you do something 10,000 hours, you will be an expert. I think there is a certain amount of truth. Practice can make perfect. Mrs. Lion’s spanking skill has improved geometrically over the years that she has been beating my butt. Blogging may be an exception. You can become a better writer by doing a lot of writing if you have the benefit of critical readers. Otherwise, nothing changes. That’s why I want an editor so badly.
This same thinking applies to sex. Quality improvement requires critical review and notes on how to improve. This goes two ways. Feedback is critical. I’ve been guilty of not letting Mrs. Lion know what feels best to me. I don’t want to discourage her by implying she isn’t doing something right. When I write about my new ideas on spanking or other activities we do, Mrs. Lion told me that she sees that as me telling her she is doing it wrong.
Most recently, I wrote about a DWC spanking. I thought I was suggesting a new approach to disciplinary spankings. Mrs. Lion told me that she thought she was doing a good job and was unhappy that I didn’t think so. I’m glad she told me. It gave me a chance to explain what I was thinking. I view these learnings as a way to provide input into our evolution. When I read about techniques that seem useful, I write about them as a form of coaching. Without reading that piece about a DWC spanking, I would have never known about this approach.
My problem is that all of my training and experience was doing BDSM scenes. Sensitivity to the bottom and how she reacts to the activity are key. The objective is sexual pleasure. A disciplinary spanking isn’t about providing me with sexual enjoyment. It’s about sending a strong message without doing real damage to my body. I’m supposed to hate being spanked. There are very few resources on the web on how to deliver this sort of thing. After we discussed it, my next spanking was a true DWC spanking that lasted more than ten minutes. I was spanked last Saturday, and I still had a sore spot on Wednesday. This is the desired result of a proper DWC punishment.
Since then, Mrs. Lion had mentioned punishment frequently. Often it is a playful reference. I like this a lot. It may seem that we aren’t taking domestic discipline seriously, but we are. The references, even in jest, keeps our disciplinary relationship top of mind. In the past, we have slipped due to inertia. Mrs. Lion’s references to punishing me mean she is thinking about her role, which makes me remember mine.