Constant Vigilance

In the early part of this century, the World Wide Web was coming into its own. Subjects previously way out of the mainstream became easy to find. One of the most interesting to me was the idea of a disciplinary wife. The Disciplinary Wives Club was an early entry in the field. To this day, almost two decades later, people still refer to it reverently. I have no idea about the reality behind the website, but I know it influenced countless couples, correct that, countless men, to try to pursue a disciplinary relationship.

That site was my first real exposure to the idea of being spanked for discipline. It touched me deeply. I would get aroused thinking about the idea of being spanked by my spouse. It wasn’t until 2015 that I actually experienced this. Mrs. Lion agreed to spank me. I won’t go through our long history now. Suffice it to say that we both persevered and grew slowly. We have reached a point that has me receiving true disciplinary spankings.

Along the way, we discovered some essential, non-physical steps required to establish a disciplinary relationship. Most are obvious when you think about them, but difficult to put into practice. Yesterday I happened to be searching for “husband spanking” on Google and Bing. I was curious about where I would be pointed. Bing pointed me to the Disciplinary Wives Club. I clicked through. It took me to a page called, “Tips and Methods“. This section is dedicated to helping a potential disciplinary wife get started. Please note that this is not the original website. This particular page is missing from the recreation of the original.

The advice on this page is surprisingly good. It may seem a little extreme to some, but over the years Mrs. Lion and I learned that this is very good advice indeed. Aside from the obvious need to develop a sufficiently severe spanking style, the next most critical requirement is constant vigilance. To begin moving husband spanking out of the BDSM scene and into day-to-day life, it’s required that the disciplining wife closely observe her husband’s behavior.

I think this was the most difficult change for Mrs. Lion. She’s a laid-back soul by nature. She’s anything but critical. However, to be my disciplining wife, she has to closely observe my behavior and immediately let me know when I do something she doesn’t like. In the beginning, actually even now, Mrs. Lion likes to function using discrete rules. She seemed comfortable letting me know if I break a rule she has articulated. She is also comfortable spanking me for breaking it.

She doesn’t seem as comfortable observing something that annoys her and then immediately letting me know I’m in trouble. Here is what the disciplinary wives club article says about this:

“The first thing you must do is to explain the golden rule of your proposed (or existing) disciplinary relationship. He must render complete obedience to you with regard to disciplinary issues at all times and must be willing to carry out any and all orders you give him without question or hesitation.

The first time he refuses to obey an order you need to stop and have a serious talk with him right then and there. If the husband is allowed to dictate when he will or will not obey an order, then that leaves some question as to who is really in charge, doesn’t it? Once he has agreed to these terms and understands that the whole scene will end permanently if he is not cooperative, you are ready to begin.

The well-disciplined husband is a direct result of constant vigilance on the part of the wife. Vigilance means being aware of almost everything he is doing and keeping your rules consistent and predictably enforced. In many instances your discipline will involve tasks and ordeals that he will find highly objectionable. He must always be aware that any rebellion or hesitation on his part will not be tolerated and will be met with additional punishment.

The assumption that the DWC makes is that the husband wants this disciplinary relationship and that the worst thing his wife can do is discontinue it. This is absolutely true in the beginning. I wanted Mrs. Lion to take charge. I worked very hard to help her establish her role. The most frightening threat would be to discontinue our disciplinary relationship.

Over time, this changed. Mrs. Lion’s confidence has grown dramatically. She is firmly and permanently established in her role as my disciplinary wife. The last thing she would do is threaten to discontinue it. She has much more potent ways to enforce her will.

That doesn’t mean that things are easy and fully natural. Mrs. Lion is much more vigilant than she has ever been in the past. In a lighthearted way, we have assigned version numbers that mark her growth in her role as my disciplining wife. Currently, she is lioness 3.0. 3.0 is strict when she spanks and highly vigilant of my behavior. She is unafraid of causing me substantial physical discomfort. She sees creating a few bruises on my bottom as a positive sign of her success.

The next phase, lioness 4.0, is a transition to the state that the quote from the DWC article mentions. 4.0 will give orders and will expect immediate obedience. Anything I do that annoys her will immediately be greeted by a reprimand (Mrs. Lion can really growl) followed by a severe spanking. There will be no exceptions. 4.0 will move away from concrete rules. She will expect me to remember what she wants. If I cause her any displeasure she will not worry about whether or not I was aware of a specific rule. She will simply discipline me to help me avoid this error in the future. She will be comfortable requiring my obedience.

This doesn’t mean that she will become an imperious femdom monster. It does mean that a simple request should always be interpreted as an order that must be followed at the pain of a severe spanking if disregarded. 4.0’s objective isn’t to cultivate fear. It’s to train me to be obedient and very considerate. She won’t have to articulate what I did wrong. She can expect me to think about that while she is bruising my bottom.

The big difference between 3.0 and 4.0 is a trend toward action. Yes, she will let me know what I did wrong. However, I will have to pay for it even if I didn’t know I was breaking a rule. This may seem unfair at first. It really isn’t. It’s a way of cultivating my sensitivity to her wishes and needs.

4.0 will expect immediate obedience. Unless she tells me otherwise, I am expected to do whatever it is she asks immediately. Delay will get me a sore rear end. 4.0 is all about action. It’s a way to teach me a very clear cause and effect relationship between thoughtful and immediate obedience and painful spanking.

Like each of the preceding phases, this will be challenging for both of us. I know that Mrs. Lion is working hard at becoming more consistent and vigilant. We will both benefit as she succeeds.

What do you think?