Why Ask Why?

My small office at work has four desks. It feels tight enough when all of us are in there. Yesterday, we had a trainee as well. There was very little room to maneuver, let alone any privacy to write a post. I’m not sure what I would have written anyway. We didn’t do anything Wednesday night. It was the day after an orgasm. That’s not exactly a horny night for Lion. It may have appeared that I didn’t write anything because my last post asked about normal vs. weird and got many comments. We also got comments on Lion’s posts about the Disciplinary Wives Club. They were reassuring and gave some ideas for other places to look for information. I still feel largely off-balance, but I feel less weird.

I have to say that Lion is all wound up about spanking again. (Has he ever stopped?) He’s advocating for timers and warming up before going all out beating his butt. Is it odd that I think I’ll look forward to the timer going off almost as much as he will? By the way, I thought I was warming him up. I guess not. Apparently, I have a long way to go. [Lion — I hesitate to mention these things because Mrs. Lion sees them as criticism. She warms me up. I was taken by the length of warmup DWC appears to advocate. Their advice has proven good. That’s the only reason I mentioned it.]

As much as I know the only way I’ll ever get better at this is to keep at it, I find myself wanting to do it less and less. Do I really want to get better at bruising Lion’s butt? That’s not something you do to someone you love. Yes. I’m still stuck there. I know many people do seemingly evil things to people they love because the people they love want seemingly evil things done to them. For a long time, I’ve said I don’t have to understand why Lion wants what he wants. I have to do it. Well, sometimes I forget that and try to understand it. Maybe I’m not actually trying to understand why. Maybe I’m trying to understand why I do what Lion wants. It’s a difficult thing to wrap my head around. I think my post about normal and weird was me feeling isolated because of that.

Sooner or later I’ll snap out of it and I’ll stop trying to figure out why. Don’t worry. It’s just a phase.

[Lion — I write about “how.” Mrs. Lion writes about “why.” I don’t think there is a rational why to understand. Our experience and the experience of others who practice domestic discipline demonstrate that it works to make a couple happier. There is not question that the “happier” party is the disciplined spouse, but the disciplining spouse benefits from the smoother emotional waters.]