Sometimes I’m a little slow. It takes a minute for me to figure things out. Obvious things. Then I have a “duh” moment. I had one last night. However, I thought I was onto something when I suggested Lion’s sexual issues were tied to his furlough. He disagrees. So, my “duh” moment might just be a brain cramp.
Here it is. Are you ready? Drumroll please…Lion wants to snuggle more. For the past few nights we’ve been snuggling before I make my move. (Again, it feels like our roles are reversed.) Lion wants the touchy-feely parts of sex back. The snuggles before the actual foreplay and the hand-holding/cuddles afterwards. We have strayed from that. If I had to guess, I’d say it was sometime around his needing more than vanilla sex and when we instituted the Box O’Fun. Apparently, I decided snuggling was vanilla and did away with it. I don’t think it was a conscious decision to end all snuggling. It just seems to have happened.
On the other hand, snuggling might have fallen off because Lion’s shoulder hurt. At some point, his steroid shot wore off. Since we were in lockdown, hospitals were pulling staff in other directions. They didn’t want people coming in for non-essential things. Being pain-free is apparently non-essential. I mean, I get it. Keeping people safe is a huge goal. You have to do whatever it takes. It’s not like his pain was life-threatening. But it was difficult to snuggle when his shoulder was hurting. And I guess we never got back to it after he was able to get the injection.
That means for months we haven’t really been close. We held hands and continued on with play and sex and punishment, etc., but we didn’t snuggle. The actual skin to skin contact was limited. I don’t know why I didn’t see it. I don’t know why Lion didn’t see it either. Neither of us ever said, “I miss snuggling.” But I know we did. Maybe it was buried in our subconscious. Maybe that’s why Lion is having such a hard time putting his finger on what’s wrong. Maybe he needs to have a “duh” moment. Perhaps my suggestion that he snap out of it didn’t help.
For the past few nights I’ve been snuggling with him. I play with his boobies and pretend I’m going to pinch his nipples. I let my hands wander across his chest and stomach. I get ever closer to my weenie, but I don’t actually touch it. And then eventually I do. The other day, Lion was as hard as he’s ever been. He still didn’t quite make it to the edge, but he was happy to try.
I won’t say I’ve completely cracked the code. There may be more to it than snuggling, but I’d say it’s a step in the right direction. Even if it has nothing to do with the issue, we’re happier when we snuggle. You can’t really argue with snuggling.
[Lion Comments — Is it a problem that our roles are reversed?]