More Than A Handjob

Sex for me has been less than spectacular recently. I don’t want to put any blame on Mrs. Lion. I think the fact is that even with edging, it gets routine. There’s a common misconception that it doesn’t take a lot to get a male to orgasm. Essentially, apply hand, mouth, or vagina and move. Handjobs are usually considered just moving the hand up and down oh over the penis until you get the desired results. The same is basically true for oral and vaginal sex.

I suppose when I was much younger, in my 20s and 30s, that was pretty much the case. Apply friction to my penis and ejaculation would occur. As I grew older, it took a little more to really get me going. True, you could still make me ejaculate if you rub my penis long enough. It does feel good. But I didn’t enjoy it as much as I used to.

Oral sex is a different animal entirely. As long as there isn’t too much scraping of the teeth and nice tongue contact, it’s a very reliable way to get me very excited. The same is almost as true of vaginal sex. That after all is the activity my penis was designed to participate in. However, not every position yields the same results. For example the cowgirl position fails to give my most sensitive spots enough stimulation. It’s very difficult for me to ejaculate. Reverse cowgirl is the opposite. In that position my penis is rubbed exactly right. It’s very difficult for me to hold off long. Ironically, cowgirl I’ve been told is probably the best position for female pleasure. Reverse cowgirl is far more difficult for a woman to orgasm.

Since Mrs. Lion doesn’t want sex for herself, the whole show is for me. This is both good and bad. It’s good, very good, that Mrs. Lion unselfishly tries to satisfy me. That satisfaction is generally postponed since we practice enforced male chastity. However, I get regular teasing and occasional opportunities to ejaculate.

The problem is that it’s hard for me to remain excited enough to get to the edge, much less ejaculate under the current conditions. Almost all of the stimulation I get is with Mrs. Lion’s hands. She knows how to find the good spots. But it can get very mechanical to me. I’m sure you may be thinking that I’m lucky to have somebody willing to jerk me off. I absolutely am. However, I may need a little more than Mrs. Lion’s hand going up and down on my penis.

It may sound greedy, but in truth I can feel my arousal draining away as she goes on. A good example is what happened the other night. Mrs. Lion went to work on my penis. When she started it felt amazing and I got very hard. A minute or two later it didn’t feel as exciting. The sensations tapered off. She was working hard to stimulate me. I even lost my erection. She brought it back and I felt aroused again. But it kept dropping off.

I went online and looked at some handjob videos. I figured that people who made those are similar to me in terms of the singular focus of the sexual activity. The women performing the masturbating frequently changed technique. I noticed that they varied the speed of their strokes, the length, and the amount of their hands in contact with the penis. They were trying to vary the sensations in order to keep the arousal growing.

The need for variation may be why I don’t do well with vibrating toys. They provide a uniform stimulation. For some reason I grow desensitized if there is no variation. When Mrs. Lion edges me; actually gets me right up to the edge of orgasm, she uses a wide variety of techniques to keep me there. She’ll do slow, two-fingered rubs against that sensitive spot under my penis. Then, she’ll give me a burst of rapid masturbation which generally brings me to the edge again. Or, she will give me very slow strokes and watch my arousal grow uncontrollably. I love this.

She knows exactly when I’m going to lose control and ejaculate. She can stop just short of that moment. Or, if she wants, she’ll go one or two strokes past that point and watch me have a ruined orgasm. She’s in total control. The problem with the hand jobs is building up to this. I don’t know if there’s a good answer. I’m very sure I’m not alone in my difficulty remaining highly aroused during masturbation. Maybe there is something to be learned about varying the sensation and speed.

handjob technique
Mrs. Lion sometimes uses this technique when I am very close. It drives me crazy.

None of this is an issue when I am extremely horny. At that point any stimulation at all will do the trick. It’s those other times when I can be aroused but not easily brought to the edge. I wonder if it’s a matter of technique. Years ago, my partner at the time and I attended a handjob workshop. The men had to undress and lie on the floor on a towel and their partners got instruction and practiced various techniques. It was a rather odd feeling at first, but it was very interesting. I was much too involved in what was happening to me to pay any attention to other people or the instructor. I was simply a stunt cock.

It may have been the thrill of being in a workshop like this, but it was an amazing feeling. All of the activity was done with lube. The selected lubricant was coconut oil. Coconut oil is normally solid at room temperature. The instructor warmed it in the microwave and it became a very nice slippery liquid. It not only smelled good, it felt wonderful. I’ve suggested that Mrs. Lion try it. I think we have some.

The reason I think that coconut oil works so well is that it isn’t as slippery as most of the lubes we have. We have a very large collection of lubes that are water-based, oil-based, and silicone. They are all very slippery. Maybe they are too slippery for me. As I recall, the coconut oil felt more like natural lubricants: vaginal and saliva. I may be wrong, but that’s my memory.

handjob technique
This is one of the methods demonstrated in the workshop. It feels really good.

I think there’s a very good reason that almost all of my sex comes from handjobs. They are the least physically stressful for Mrs. Lion. She hasn’t found a comfortable position to give me oral attention. If she had one I think I would get a lot more. She loves sucking my cock. I love it when she does. If she could do this comfortably, perhaps half of my sexual attention would be with her mouth and the other half with her hand. This could be true within a single session.

Probably the most difficult part of this for me is the fact that unlike other sexual relationships, we don’t trade orgasms. I’m not complaining. It’s been well over 10 years that this situation has existed. Our last vaginal sex was two years ago. And the one before that was two years prior to this. Mrs. Lion does it with me when she feels I really miss it and she wants me to have that fun. It doesn’t do anything for her. Sadly, under those conditions it doesn’t do much for me either.

Mrs. Lion has discovered that if I’ve been recently spanked or if she’s done some rather intense BDSM play, I seem to be more receptive to sexual stimulation. It’s true I am. I think it’s because we did something sexual — yes disciplinary spanking has sexual overtones — prior to direct stimulation of my penis. When Mrs. Lion was attempting to fist me I found that exciting.

Most people consider playing with a man’s penis as a form of foreplay. In our case it’s the last act. Just diving in and jerking me off is a little like a guy spitting on the end of his penis and penetrating his partner without any other activity. It might work, but it isn’t the most pleasant thing for her. It’s true that Mrs. Lion usually will pinch my nipples and rub my tummy before going for the gold. I don’t think that’s enough for me. This is very difficult for Mrs. Lion since it’s just for me. If she had some skin in the game, so to speak, we would spend a lot more time and energy on sex. As it stands, it’s hard for her to muster the enthusiasm needed to keep me really turned on.

This would be a lot easier for her if she got some benefit from it. If she got some kind of satisfaction, maybe the same kind she gets from winning the games she plays on her iPad, she would have an incentive to make me more and more responsive. I don’t know if anything sexual even on an intellectual basis interests her. If she could find a way to gamify sex with me, it could become challenging and fun. Any thoughts?

What do you think?