For whatever reason Mrs. Lion is now able to edge me again. All that has changed is that I’m now wearing a male chastity device. Maybe, as she suggested, it’s the novelty of being locked up again that’s jumpstarting my libido. Only time will tell. It could be something else. I’m almost afraid to say what it is out loud. It could be that I need the physical restraint to truly feel sexually controlled.
I know that other guys have developed this sort of sexual addiction. If it’s true that I have it as well, I’m not sure it’s the worst thing in the world. It just doesn’t fit with how I think of myself. My self-image has me independent and voluntarily surrendering my ability to ejaculate. That’s probably inaccurate. After more than six years under Mrs. Lion’s control, it has to be for more than voluntary.
When I’m wild, I almost never give myself an erection. Sometimes I think I’d like to and my hand moves down between my legs. Almost every time, I give up long before there is any real sign of life. That’s why I felt that wearing a chastity device is a bit like gilding the lily. It’s cool but has no real functional value for me. Maybe I’m wrong.
Several years ago I wrote a post about the difference between “can’t” and “won’t”. Wearing a chastity device makes it impossible for me to get an erection and ejaculate. When I’m wild and choose not to because I’m committed to being under Mrs. Lion’s control. I would argue that “won’t” is more exciting because it represents me submitting my will to hers. “Can’t” physically removes any choice. My will isn’t involved at all. Being the bondage slut that I am, it’s a much bigger turn-on to be physically restrained.
Why, after all this time when there was apparently no difference in how I respond to being wild or caged, did I suddenly start losing sexual interest when my penis was no longer caged? If it was a simple cause and effect situation, I would’ve expected to see the problem emerge a long time ago. It didn’t. After all, mental bondage is just as hot as physical. Isn’t it?
Mrs. Lion definitely prefers the mental sort of bondage. She isn’t very fond of dealing with locking and unlocking cages. Even though I could do it for her, I think it’s the same problem we both agree exists with allowing me to masturbate under her supervision. Part of her control is the actual physical control of the device and the penis it locks up.
I know she enjoyed getting me to the edge on Saturday night. I enjoyed it too. It was such a novelty that I didn’t feel a bit frustrated when she stopped and told me that she was done. I’d imagine that if the edging continues for another week or so, the old feelings of frustration will return. Meanwhile, we are both enjoying the sexual return of her old lion.