Life Balance

Since we are focusing on our move, sex and discipline have been largely absent. Well, absent from actions not from my mind. We seem to be bedroom-rooted when it comes to both. Mrs. Lion reserves time after dinner for discipline. It’s been a very long time since she’s spanked me before we’ve eaten our dinner. Similarly, sex has been reserved for after 10 PM. Occasionally, we will snuggle and she will edge me or even let me ejaculate before that hour. This is true even on weekends.

I’m sure this isn’t unusual. Logically, it makes some sense to wait until the day has wound down and we are relaxing. I’m not sure that this is the best idea. We’ve integrated enforced male chastity and our disciplinary activities into our marriage. Neither of us consider these things external to our basic relationship. When we’ve had to suspend any of them, we both miss it. At the same time it appears that we’ve compartmentalized these activities into a small, end-of-day block of time.

There isn’t anything inherently wrong with that. From the very beginning this is how things have gone. On the rare occasion I’ve been spanked or masturbated during the day or early evening, it’s felt exotic and a little bit naughty. We are alone in our house and we have no external reason why we can’t do everything and anything whenever we want. It just seems that the current comfort zone lives in the evening.

I would like to change that. It may not be possible because both of us are basically creatures of habit. However, spontaneity is something that I think we should cultivate. Our BDSM play activities are also very limited. There is a good reason for this. Mrs. Lion comes home tired from work and wants to unwind. On the weekends, she also likes to get other things done first. I get that. Months ago, Mrs. Lion set up her Box O’ Fun. As you may recall, this is a small wooden box filled with slips of paper on which Mrs. Lion has written various BDSM activities. She used to take it out and have me pick a slip of paper. She would then do what was written on that slip. The activities ranged from clothespins on my balls to spanking, penetration, etc. It was a way to overcome our sexual inertia.

It was a very good idea. Sadly, that went into disuse as well during the time I had to deal with medical issues. We haven’t resumed. We both are at fault here the very reason we initiated this was to try to overcome our desire to just not move. A lot of the responsibility goes to me because of the medical problems we had to cope with. I’m now much better. However, we are in the middle of moving. We can’t really spare the time to do much of anything. Mrs. Lion is exhausted because she has to do the packing. By the time she gets home from work, makes dinner, and does some packing she isn’t in any shape to do anything with me.

We need to think about the future. Once we move into our new house there are even more reasons not to do anything. We will be occupied with unpacking. This is a challenge most couples face. The easiest way to resolve it is to turn off all the intimate activities. It’s very easy to prioritize “essential” non-sexual activities. It’s also completely understandable. But I’m convinced that this sort of inertia can be destructive.

I think we have to get practical and prioritize sex and our power exchanges high enough so that we can reserve time to pursue them even if other, more pressing vanilla needs are getting in the way. The problem isn’t just time. It would be pretty easy for us, given our penchant for routine to schedule 30 minutes each day for these activities. The hard part is finding the energy to actually do things. I have no easy answer for that. I just know that we need to do something.

I think that the fact we have relegated these activities to hours after we eat dinner, sets us up to skip them. I think we need to consider being more flexible about timing. On weeknights, it’s impractical to expect Mrs. Lion to come home from work, get out of her work clothes, and commence these activities. She needs time to wind down. My suggestion would be to consider doing this after she takes her shower. She usually showers about half an hour after dinner. In the past, pre-medical days, this was when she would spank me if I had a spanking coming. A short time after that, she would initiate any play or other sexual activity for the evening.

I would like to get back to this. I’m not saying we have to start tonight. That would be incredibly unreasonable of me. I do think we need to sit down and do some play. we need an agreement; one that we will not break easily. When we first started enforced male chastity, we had an agreement that I would be teased at least once every other day. Mrs. Lion honored that religiously. We should do something like that now. Perhaps agree that if I have punishment coming, it gets delivered at least every other day. Hopefully, if I have a series of spankings coming it would get executed daily. However, it’s unreasonable to expect that all the time. Maybe we could agree to dig out the Box O’Fun two or three times a week. Of course, if Mrs. Lion is in the mood she could bring it out or just decide for herself what she wants to do to me at any time.

A lot of people wonder why things like contracts and other agreements are necessary for something as organic as sex. We like to think about things as intimate as sex and play as spontaneous activities. Thanks to our male chastity agreements, sex is very much alive and well with us.  Also, because of these agreements as well as our Female Led Relationship with Discipline (FLRD), our sexual communications channel is wide open and our sex life is alive and well. Of course, we have bumps like now. We also have tools to get over them. I’m very grateful for that.