Every so often I read a blog where the blogger posts that he and he alone knows the “real” way that male chastity works. Wow. We’re in our fifth year and I may learn that we’re doing it wrong when he finally reveals the true path. I’m aware of several couples who practice enforced male chastity and blog about it. They’ve been doing it for years. None of us appears to approach it the same way. I wonder if any of us is doing it right.
The simple fact is that the label “enforced male chastity” isn’t a single thing, any more than “sex” is just one thing. Apparently some people believe that they have the only right way to do sex and enforced male chastity. I do agree that much of what you read online is impossible fantasy. But there are people like us who actually practice it.
One of the Net’s most pervasive products is bad advice. There’s no filter at all. It’s up to you to decide what to believe. Critical thinking skills are required to make sense out of the mess. More importantly, the key is to experiment and discover what works for you.
I don’t claim to know the right way to do anything. I know what works for us and what we have tried in the past. There are almost 3,000 posts on our blog that document our learning curve. Reading that “real way” post, made me think about what kind of filters could help a newcomer separate online truth from fantasy.
- Does the author describe “rituals” in intimate detail? One thing I’ve learned is that people with real lives just don’t have time for a lot of rituals. Orgasm denial and wearing a chastity device are the only constants in enforced male chastity. Anything else is “extra”. There may be couples who actually have elaborate rituals that include “positions” and other ritualistic practices. Anything is possible. However, if every time they write about their enforced chastity, a major part is detailed description of these rituals, I believe I am dealing with a guy’s fantasies, not real life.
- Does the author claim to have the “Real Way” to practice enforced chastity? Aside from being massively arrogant, I ask myself what his (or her) basis for the claim can be? The only answer I can think of is that his (her) fantasies are better than mine. The truth is that once you actually practice enforced chastity, you quickly learn that it has to fit in with the rest of your lives. It also has to map to your keyholder’s preferences as well. Some don’t want to handle the device and expect the man to put it on and take it off. Some want the man to masturbate when directed. Mrs. Lion locks my cage on and takes it off. I’m never permitted to masturbate under any circumstances. Which is right? Both!
- Is the sex realistic? A lot of what I read would require extraordinary stamina to actually practice. Can you see yourself doing what you are reading? Could it become your regular sexual diet? Would your partner enjoy doing what you are reading? Obviously, this isn’t the only test. I’m sure a lot of our readers can’t see themselves doing what we do. I hope they can see that it is something they could do.
Finally, and most importantly, if you read older posts can you see evolution? Few, if any relationships are stagnant. Things change; they always do. In our case, we go through periods of more or less activity. I’m left wild sometimes, mostly I wear a chastity device. In our relationship the one rule that never changes is that I am not allowed to masturbate. It’s too important to Mrs. Lion. Otherwise, we try new things, abandon some and adopt others. Read back and see how we have changed over the years.