Maybe my penis is the best indicator of returning to normal. Mrs. Lion gave me a hand job on Tuesday and I was having sexy thoughts and erections on Thursday. Before that, I was worried that I was broken for good. Clearly I’m not
Mrs. Lion thinks the opiods I was taking caused my sexual hibernation. I’m not so sure I agree. I’m still taking them at a lower dose as I am tapering off. It just may be the healing process is sufficiently complete to let my body get back to its normal condition. My appetite has returned and food tastes much better. So far, my orgasms have been completely dry. No semen ejaculates when I come. However, a decent amount drips out over several minutes after I am soft again. Yuck.
I suspect the paddle cease fire will end shortly. Domestic discipline will return in our home. The paddles will be dusted off and my bottom will be used to help me learn to obey Mrs. Lion’s rules. In a way I’m glad this will start again. I don’t miss the punishments, but I do miss the way they provide a balance in my life. It’s very similar to the way enforced chastity brings us closer.
I’ve always thought that male chastity and domestic discipline are displays of male submission. Well, on the surface at least, they are. But in my case there is more too it than that. If I strip away the BDSM-like trappings, there is a core set of benefits that adds great value to our relationship.
It seems to me that the primary benefit is the explicit assignment of roles. One partner is clearly in charge. There is on passive aggressive attempts at control in our house. By agreement, Mrs. Lion is in charge. Period. The way we structured things, she has absolute control over my sexual pleasure. Being male, sex is an important, top-of-mind part of my life. Locking my penis in a chastity device not only prevents me from sexual activity, it also reminds me 24/7 of my role. It’s a great, practical symbol of my surrender. After almost 3 1/2 years, even when out of the device, I don’t do anything sexual.
So the chastity device continuously reminds me that my lioness is in charge. I think the paddles and the agreement to use them to enforce my obedience, is the female-in-charge equivalent of my cage. She has to observe me and correct me when I don’t follow a rule or fail to obey her. Just as I know that I can’t have any sexual pleasure without her, she recognizes her responsibility to punish me when needed.
Some Female Led Relationships (FLR) don’t include physical punishment. The dominant women in those relationships need no reminder of their status. They are naturally dominant and were in charge long before they ever heard of FLR. In our case, I am naturally dominant and can easily just take over. Mrs. Lion is a very accepting woman who, without help, could forget she is in charge.
So, we have enforced chastity and domestic discipline to provide concrete reinforcement of our agreed roles. We jointly decided that we want this lifestyle. We’ve also learned that we both need structure with specific responsibilities to reinforce our roles. We suspended all of this during my early recovery. It’s time, I think, to return.
There’s very good news in all of this. Mrs. Lion told me that she is putting rules back in place. It’s clear that she wants to return to domestic discipline as much as I do. It isn’t that either of us like spanking. I don’t miss that. I do miss the enforced requirement that I follow any rules I am given and I obey my lioness. During my recovery it was easy to just overlook any slips. I don’t like that. In a very real sense, her painful enforcement is a message of caring and love. I’m looking forward to our return to normal.