I’ve been writing quite a bit about domestic discipline and spanking lately. The subject has been on my mind. As Mrs. Lion has written, I tend to dig deeply into a subject until I feel I have a good understanding. We began our female led relationship over a year ago. We started it by Mrs. Lion creating a small set of rules. These rules were simple: I wasn’t to spill food on my shirt, interrupt Mrs. Lion, or eat before her. We tried a few more rules that didn’t work out.
The reason for doing this was to give us both practice. We knew that I would regularly break at least one of those simple rules. Breaking one would result in punishment. Mrs. Lion chose spanking as her way to express her displeasure. The spankings were to be real punishment; not the play spankings I’ve been getting over the years. The idea was to give both of us practice at giving and receiving punishment.
This might seem odd. Punishment spankings are supposed to be very painful and memorable. It may not seem to make sense to get one for spilling some gravy on my shirt. Of course, that wasn’t the point at all. We are trying to create a new dynamic. Our new roles don’t come naturally to either of us. The simple rules assure that we will get the practice we need to make domestic discipline a natural part of our marriage. It seems to be working.
There are two key elements in learning domestic discipline for the disciplinary wife: observing infractions and punishing them. Mrs. Lion tends to internalize things I do that annoy her. In our FLR that just won’t do. She can’t just decide she will articulate what I do to annoy her and then spank me. It isn’t that easy. It’s hard to break a lifelong habit. Hence, the “trivial” rules. Mrs. Lion now observes and notes my infractions. She’s said she enjoys catching me.
On Monday I made her angry. I could see it in her face. She didn’t say anything at the time. She withdrew and stopped talking with me. After she was at work, I sent an email and commented that I would feel her displeasure. She replied that I will. This was a non-trivial offense. I don’t know if Mrs. Lion would have said anything if I didn’t, but my comment elicited a response that I will be punished. That’s progress.
If you’re wondering, the reason she hasn’t punished me yet is that I have been sick. I’m better now and since today is punishment day, I imagine that I’m in for a very unpleasant spanking tonight.
The second area a disciplinary wife must master is punishment. Prior to our FLR, Mrs. Lion had no experience punishing anyone. She has slowly become more severe in spanking me. She is learning that I can handle more than she expected. She is kind and sweet. My reactions, I think, have led her to take it easier than she probably should.
Remember in a post she wrote about her experiment when she had me numb my butt with Lidocaine before a spanking? The idea was to see if numbing me would make it easier to spank more and make the effect last longer. It worked very well. Yesterday, when reading something online, I remembered some of my early experiences bottoming. I would be tied down and spanked. For a while the pain kept growing. Then, I felt a bit numb. My play partner could hit harder and longer without me protesting so much.
Then I read about a spanking technique that follows the same pattern. Swats followed by pauses are administered until this “numbness” begins. Then the swats get harder with less pauses between volleys. It still hurts a lot, but is easier to take. The objective is to make the spanking go on for a long time and when done, provide sensitivity for a day or more. The bottom becomes deep red and bruises a bit. The pain during the post-numb phase doesn’t go away. It’s there since the spanker is hitting harder. But it is tolerable enough to allow the spankee to hold relatively still.
When I read that, I realized that this is what I think I need. It isn’t just the pain of the initial swats. It’s the continued activity that makes the real point. The lasting sensitivity provides a reminder of the power exchange. If you think this is cruel (I suspect Mrs. Lion thinks it is), it isn’t in my case. It’s what I think will be effective.
Mrs. Lion and I are evolving. Our education continues. This is a challenging process for both of us. Mrs. Lion has to learn to change old habits and has to develop her disciplinary skills. I have to accept punishments that are more severe than I deserve for the offenses we use for learning. I have to let these punishments condition me to become more obedient and aware of how I affect my lioness.
Most importantly, this is consensual. I want these things to happen to me. I am convinced that domestic discipline will help our relationship continue to grow and flourish. This is a choice I am making and Mrs. Lion is honoring.