Reviewing The Literature

I just checked our site’s profile. In the last few weeks since we started writing more about domestic discipline, the number one country reading our blog is Germany. Before that, when we were almost exclusively talking about enforced chastity, it was the United States.  Are these comments about national characters? These statistical changes aren’t really all that significant; just curious.

It was surprising to find a non-Engish-speaking country becoming such a significant fraction of our readership. Total visitors and pages viewed haven’t dropped. In fact, they’ve risen. Another significant part of our audience is in the U.K. That isn’t surprising since the British have a long tradition of caning, spanking, and male control.  In fact, many of the other FLR and enforced chastity blogs are written in the U.K. Mrs. Lion and I are Americans.

Female Led Relationship blogs are rare. There are even less of them than sites catering to enforced male chastity. This isn’t very surprising. Not many people want to live in full-time power exchanges. Of those who do, the vast majority are male dominated.

FLR and enforced chastity fly in the face of most Western traditions.  This is a shame. I would love to find more accounts of couples who are living lives like ours.

There are a lot of blogs about recreational spanking. This kink is apparently quite popular. Again, most of the spankees are female. But there are a fairly large number of sites featuring red male bottoms. I find it fun to read some of them. Spanking is erotic to me; at least thinking about it is. The reality, in my case, isn’t erotic at all. Based on my reading, most guys feel the same way. Some even get hard when they are about to be spanked. That erection doesn’t last long once the spanking begins.

It turns out that there are quite a few munches, parties, and other events for spanking devotees. The leather events that I’ve attended always have a large number of spanking scenes going on in the dungeon. Most of them feature female bottoms. The social stigma attached to male submission probably keeps many female-spanking-male scenes private. For the record, most of the scenes I’ve seen end up with the spankee having a very dark-red, bruised bottom. “Play” spankings are frequently more severe than their disciplinary cousins.

All of this information makes me feel that Mrs. Lion and I are exceedingly rare critters. That’s certainly true on the Internet. In once sense, it’s nice to know we help fill a gap in online information. But it also means that we don’t have role models to help us grow; at least we haven’t found any yet. Every so often I turn up a gem. Usually the gem is unpolished. It is surrounded with a coating of hyperbole and fantasy. A good example is the writing of Aunt Kay. After stripping away the excessively violent language, I found a valuable guide to administering disciplinary spankings. Mrs. Lion has adopted the technique and has become more effective. I, in turn, am able to accept as much as she wishes to administer without squirming away.

When it comes to spanking, or for that matter, enforced chastity, information is critical for success. The obvious approach is rarely the most effective. I always imagined that a spanking was effective only if the spanks were fast and hard. I never considered that this sort of overwhelming stimulation would make it impossible to hold still and allow completion. Pacing and allowing me to settle after each volley of swats lets me hold still and ultimately results in a lot more pain during and after the spanking. That, after all, is the point. Isn’t it? I expect that as Mrs. Lion gets more used to this technique, my beatings will be much more memorable.

Intuitively, I thought that a chastity device should leave room to comfortably encase my penis. After much messy urination, I learned that an effective device should fit like a glove and always contact all of my flaccid penis. I would have never guessed that shorter is always better for a chastity device. It was an expensive, trial-and-error effort that taught us that.

I hope that we are helping you. We don’t have all the answers. We are both still learning through trial and error. Anything we can learn from others helps us grow that much faster. If you run across a good FLR or chastity site, please let us know.



  1. Author

    Years ago I attended a CFNM event. The women were all dimmed and there were about 30 of us (males) to serve and amuse them. It wasn’t a sexual event but did feature games and some punishments. I received several very strong smacks over the evening. But what really astounded me was one scene that occurred where a man was spanked extremely hard. The woman used all her strength and some very paddles. He was roaring but seemingly enjoying himself. The beating went for some time and by the end he was very red and bleeding from many spots. There was lots of communication between the woman and him all through the spanking. He thanked her at the end of it and she stated that it was very rare to find someone who would let her go like that. I figure he would have taken more than a month to heal–perhaps two! I don’t think I could take that level of beating.

  2. Author

    A blog just re-started called “a Wife’s in Charge.” I don’t like it because of the harshness of the punishments and a tone I find to be mean-spirited, and at times, vengeful. However, many seem to like it, and you may too.

      1. Author

        I’m pretty sure it’s real. People who read (and the moderator thereof) frequently comment and interact with the blogger as does “Strictjulie” from Of course, anything is possible.

        1. Author

          Interesting. I was a bit suspicious about interactions with bosses, friends etc. If it’s real, the blog shows remarkable interactions with the outside world. I can’t imagine Mrs Lion talking with my boss about my behavior at work. I do think that blog is a good read.

  3. Author

    Reading your blog has helped me and made it easier to present the chastity thoughts to my wife, she is so much like Ms Lion with her lost libedo and I was looking at things all wrong, we are taking it slow, and your blog has helped.

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