There are a surprisingly large number of bloggers writing about enforced chastity and female led relationships and marriages (FLR). Two interesting sites aggregate various blogs and display links to their latest posts. They are Keyheld and Sheheld. I regularly check in there to see what people are writing. These blogs fall roughly into three categories: journals of experiences, fantasies, and instruction on how to do FLR or enforced chastity.
The journals are a mix of what seem to be accurate discussions of real life and fantasies couched as actual events. Of course, it is impossible to know exactly which are real, but a little common sense goes a long way in separating the wheat from the chaff. I’m not against fantasies, but a lot of readers are looking at our blogs for help on establishing real-life chastity and FLR.
The sites that annoy me are the ones that give “advice” on how to establish enforced chastity or a female led relationship that are clearly (to me) fantasies that have little hope of succeeding. Frequently these people write “guides” that they sell for very high prices. Often they use their own relationships to illustrate their advice. It lends an air of credibility.
What set me off was one post offering advice to women wanting to start a female led relationship. This advice, supposedly written by a woman, consisted of putting the male in a chastity device and then attaching a chain to it so he can be led around like a doggy. This might be a hot BDSM fantasy, but seriously, is this a change anyone is going to make for life? The writer, who claims to be female, goes on to say her husband is handcuffed if he is naughty or if she takes him out of the device. Show that article to your wife as a way of introducing her to enforced chastity and FLR. I’d love to hear the conversation that follows her reading. This particular post was so ungrammatical that either the guy who wrote it is functionally illiterate or English is not his first language.
The reason I get so upset at this is that men who have a serious interest in trying enforced chastity or FLR might think this stuff is real. The reason otherwise discriminating guys will fall for this crap is that they are so obsessed with the hot fantasies, they suspend disbelief long enough to show their partners these “guides”.
Let me offer a few guidelines that might be helpful when judging the authenticity of advice:
- If the writer refers to herself as “Mistress xxx” she is either a guy or a woman who makes money dominating men. Often you will find books for sale or “professional” keyholder services on their sites as well. There’s nothing wrong with selling or buying these things. Just be aware that the person who is writing is doing it to make money by telling men things that turn them on.
- If the writer gives a list of things a keyholder or female head of house must do, chances are very good it is a fantasy. Those of us real-life practitioners know that there are no rules everyone must follow. There is no minimum wait time, protocols, or things a guy has to do.
- If the “story” seems too fantastic to believe, it probably is. Very few women invite their friends over to dominate their husbands. You get the point.
- If you have to buy a book or pay money for help, be very sure it is authentic before wasting your money. There are too many sources of free information, like our blog, to make it necessary to pay for what you can easily get for free.
- The blogger claims to be female and has penis or penis-in-chastity-device pictures. Not many women feel the need to publish penis shots. Some women do publish pictures of naked men submitting to a woman, but penis closeups? Nope.
I am not against blogs that are filled with fantasy and Fetlife adventures. They can be pretty hot. But it is important to understand that they are not real. If you want to introduce your partner to enforced chastity, understand that the more complex and sexual the introduction, the less likely she is to agree to try it.
It’s true that somewhere, someone is actually doing all those fantasy things. Some of those fantastic blogs may describe reality for someone. Who knows? What I know is that you aren’t going to be that lucky, at least in the beginning. Enforced male chastity and female led relationships evolve. They start with very small changes and over years can evolve into adventures that would rival fantasies.
There’s nothing wrong with reading and writing fantasies. I just wish people would label the fiction. I know they won’t. It’s up to you to decide what’s authentic and what is someone’s jerk off fantasy. Enjoy the wild Internet.