To diaper or not to diaper. That is the question. I know the question. What is the answer? I haven’t really been thinking about it extensively, but Lion has been asking. Anytime he comes up with an idea, whether or not I think things are going fine, I feel pressure to adopt the idea. He wants me to feel more powerful. I don’t see how full time diapers will make me feel more powerful. I understand that making him wear diapers from time to time because I know he hates sitting in a wet diaper, or even just the feel of the diaper, shows him my power. And, I guess, by default makes me more powerful. But why would I want him in diapers full time? And why in the world would I want to be the one changing the diaper and cleaning him off even if it is just pee?
I suppose the answer is that it shows him my power. Whether or not I feel more powerful or just mildly disgusted/annoyed/put-upon (insert your favorite verb here) isn’t really the issue. Lion says it is, but I don’t think so. If that were the case then telling him he’s going to wear his cage from now on wouldn’t be questioned. I said it. That’s the way it’s going to be. End of discussion. But why do you want me to wear it? Nope. End of discussion. Isn’t that more powerful than giving him a reason? Remember your mother saying, “Because I said so.”? You knew the discussion was over. No sense arguing that logic any further.
For now, here’s my (non) answer: I’m still thinking about it. However, I’m fairly sure diapers will not be a full time thing. And I’m 90% positive I do not want to change Lion’s diaper or wipe him off. Having said that, I’m also fairly sure that at some point diapers will be a full time thing and I will be changing Lion’s diapers and wiping him off. Why? Because that’s what he really wants and the power exchange, despite Lion’s protests to the contrary, has very little to do with my feeling powerful. It’s having Lion feel my power. And, yes, there is a distinction.
Lion has said over and over that he needs me to lie to him. He wants me to play a role. 2.0 is a role. When I have my 2.0 hat on, I can whomp the hell out of Lion’s butt for interrupting me or spilling food on himself. While the interrupting part does bother the “regular” me, I’d never in a million years think of hurting Lion to get him to stop. It’s only because I play the 2.0 role that I can spank him for it. So I think the problem occurs when Lion asks “regular” me about diapers and the cage, and I forget and answer honestly. He doesn’t want to hear that. He wants 2.0’s answer.
Perhaps 3.0 will want diapers full time and want to deal with changing Lion and wiping him off. 2.0 does not. She is happy with just the occasional diaper. However, that doesn’t mean 2.0 won’t make Lion wear a diaper all weekend if she feels like it. She just won’t want to change it or wipe him off. That’s not necessary for her amusement. Watching Lion’s face when he’s peeing in the diaper and watching the cowboy walk are enough for her. She’s also fond of his (mild) protests while he’s wet. Poor Lion. Not really.