Going For Gold

Lion and I have this “witty” repartee whenever we see a Viagra commercial. The commercial says to ask your doctor if your heart is healthy enough for sex. Then Lion says his heart is healthy enough and I say it’s too bad he can’t have any sex since he’s locked away. Hey, I warned you it was “witty”. It’s just an example of the silliness that goes on at our house.

We spent yesterday trying to work on our lawn tractor. According to one of our thermometers that sits in direct sunlight, it was 101 degrees. We were melting into the pavement. I’d like to say that if we still lived in NY we would be used to more heat, but I think we’d be hiding indoors there too. We’ve just become more accustomed to the Northwest’s cooler temperatures. We retreated into the air conditioned house and relaxed.

Lion got himself into trouble for interrupting me. Twice. I really, really hate that. So he got his butt swatted. Hard. And it wasn’t even punishment night. He doesn’t like getting punished. He doesn’t like when I remind him that he asked for it. He actually argued a little about it last night. He gave in quickly though. He knows he asked for punishment. He just doesn’t like it when it happens.

The other day, Lion said he was sure he would have an orgasm. I was getting him closer and closer to one and then I stopped. I told him it wasn’t his night. Last night was. Lately he’s been questioning me when I give him an orgasm. “Why did you do that?” he’ll ask. It makes me wonder if he really wants one. I know he likes to wait. I also know he likes to have orgasms. This time I didn’t edge him. I just went for the gold. He asked why there was no lead up. I said there must have been. Otherwise he wouldn’t have come. I did start out slow and build from there. I just didn’t edge him first. Sometimes you just can’t please a Lion. I know he was happy to come. It’s just odd to me that he questions things afterwards. (Not that he needs to stop doing it.)

I was also thinking last night that we haven’t played Zapardy in a while. Sometime this week I’ll have him strap on the shock collar for some fun. Since he’s home all day, I told him it would be cheating if he watched Jeopardy earlier in the day from our east coast feed so he’d know the answers. He promised he won’t. Last time we played he only got zapped twice. Let’s see if he can beat that.