Today is the traditional US tax day. It’s the last day when Americans can file their income tax returns for the previous year. For me, at least, it’s also a day to look back and take stock of how things have changed for me.
I’ve learned a few things in the past year. For one, I’ve learned that enforced chastity, once something my lioness did to make me happy, has changed into something she requires whether or not it makes me happy. While she is very gentle about expressing it, I can no longer choose to stop wearing a chastity device. That decision is absolutely hers. More significantly, she has made it clear that with or without the device, sexual activities not initiated by her are relationship-threatening sins. Jerking off is now grounds for divorce in the lions’ den.
That was a surprise because before enforced chastity, Mrs. Lion never expressed any opinion about me taking matters into my own hand. She always knew I wasn’t going to prowl and find other lionesses; so that wasn’t the issue at all. But now, in our third year of enforced chastity, any sexual use of my penis without my lioness is in the same category as cheating with another female.
My sexual behavior has changed too. This change has been evolving slowly. For one thing, I am not happy with the lack of sexual interest I feel for the first few days after I have an orgasm. Yes, Mrs. Lion can make me interested and can edge me, but it takes a while for me to develop the sense of being in heat. As a result, no matter how long my wait, I am less interested in having an orgasm than I was in the past. There is an interesting mental tug of war going on in my head when Mrs. Lion edges me. A very primal part of me wants her to keep going and let me finally come. Another part of me wants her not to let me go all the way. That way I will be horny for another day.
Along the same line, 2.0 has a very different approach to my sexual stimulation. She is no longer particularly interested in whether or not I want to orgasm or not. She likes me to be very horny and does a great job assuring that is my normal state. How long I go without release is independent of how much I want it. This is just what I hoped would happen. These changes are a big deal to me. They make me feel that her strong sexual control.
Expectations are dangerous things. Mrs. Lion avoids having any. I think she does that to avoid what she sometimes considers inevitable disappointment. I, on the other hand, have expectations. My life philosophy is that it is better to be disappointed than to miss opportunity. One of my expectations is that Mrs. Lion, over time, will begin having expectations and will work to achieve them. I’ll do anything I can to help that process along.
It is possible that one reason I am the principle source of the ideas she employs to control me is that she is concerned that her ideas won’t make me happy. She is very reluctant to take that chance. It’s my view that the least important thing about her role is risking disappointing me. Ultimately, what will make me happiest is seeing her take the leash and decide where we are going. The less my opinion is taken into account the happier I will be. I will regret saying this.
Oh, one more lesson learned: Enforced chastity and FLR are anything but simple and easy. Even knowing that, we are in no danger of giving up either.
I have found myself in a similar conundrum–that is longing to cum and yet wanting not to! Especially when I am approaching another record for no orgasms. Still it isn’t my choice and one has to accept it.
Btw, I no longer able to “like” your posts. Whether on my phone or the computer. Everything comes up except that part of your post. That part is forever “loading”. Still rest assured I have enjoyed both yours and Mrs. Lion’s recent posts.
I can’t find any reason why the “Like” button is gone. I will try to get to the bottom of the problem. Meanwhile, rest assured we both appreciate your input and continued participation.