This is the last day I will be running around without my cage. Mrs. Lion asked if I would like staying wild until after New Year’s day. Part of me does. It’s much more convenient not to have to worry about peeing or making adjustments to avoid a pinch now and then. I’m not worried that if I’m not locked up again tomorrow that the cage will just fall by the wayside. I know it won’t. I just don’t understand why I would be wild for so long. And, I miss the security of the chastity device. I’m less than three weeks shy of two full years wearing it. It’s become part of me. So, I said that I didn’t want to be unlocked all next week.
As she wrote in her post yesterday, being in a device isn’t actually necessary to assure I won’t run off with another lioness or jerk off on my own. A lot of guys started in chastity devices and after some time stop wearing the devices while the power exchange continues. I think I understand my reluctance to give up the Jail Bird for more than a few days at a time. I believe that the physical presence and the need for Mrs. Lion to unlock me for attention prevents us from allowing other things to interfere with our play and orgasm schedule.
It’s ironic that the physical cage is in my mind the key to psychological changes we have made. It’s a talisman that assures our growing intimacy will continue. You know, cage off today, no blog article tomorrow, sex gone the next day. That’s my fear. I realize that it isn’t necessarily true, but that little cage keeps those fears at bay. Am I really that insecure?
On some level I must be. Deep down (shhhhh, don’t tell anyone) I am always afraid of being abandoned. I made my peace with this fear a long time ago. That doesn’t mean it is gone. It just means that I recognize it has no basis in reality and isn’t going to affect the way I live. Then why the strong wish to stay caged? I know Mrs. Lion will never leave me. I know she will always want me to be happy.
The simple truth is that I don’t want to find out if I am right or not. I want the power exchange to thrive and grow. Wearing the chastity device removes any sexual choices for me. I like that loss of control. The cage makes it clear that I don’t have any control. Mrs. Lion has learned to reinforce that feeling with the way she talks to me. I like it. Being cage free for a little while is a nice relief, but it puts me into the world of “won’t”. I like it better in “can’t”.
My wife and I are still moving towards my chastity being a full-time life style, but we are getting there. I think next year (although complicated by some travel I’ll be doing at the beginning) will probably really lock things in – so to speak. (She also has a medical procedure coming up 06-Jan that she’s dreading hugely, and doesn’t want to do anything new that she might associate with the experience in the future.)
As it is now, I’m locked up about half the time, with breaks of a week to several, and I find that those times are harder on me than when I’m locked. I still want to orgasm much more often than my wife would like to have sex, and of course I could do so by my own hand. However, I very much want to save my orgasms for when I’m with her, if for no other reason than so that every experience with her is as powerful as possible. Of course, this is all my crazy idea – my wife doesn’t mind if I masturbate, although I suspect that she would if my sexual interest in her started dropping.
So I must agree that I much prefer to be locked in my device, despite the day-to-day inconveniences and occasional discomforts it might cause. In particular, it would be really nice if, after she does release me for sex, she’d lock me back up again either right away, or at least the next morning. Somehow that would feel much more to me like my sexuality is hers to use as she – not I – pleases.
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