Mrs. Lion discovered that my recent lack of libido was due to nothing more complex than boredom. I think she was right. Bored with what? Being locked up? Edged? Given orgasms? The answer is no to all the above. Again, as my lioness correctly diagnosed, bored with the process.
We had fallen into a pattern of unlocking the device, stimulating me by hand or orally and then locking me up again. Sometimes there were some painful clothespins in the process and on occasion my balls were tied up. There’s nothing to complain about at all. But then last weekend, Mrs. Lion took me down to our dungeon and put me in the sling. She figged me and got me off. I was hard almost before I got into the sling.
Let’s face it, enforced chastity like most power exchanges is more theater than reality. Don’t believe me? Well, I’m locked in a device that would be very hard to escape and if I did, Mrs. Lion would find out and there would be terrible consequences. That’s theater. The fact is that I carry a key to the device and can get out any time. Yes, she will discover it if I use that key. But will the world end? No, not at all. She may punish me severely, but that’s theater too. She has absolutely no worry that I will have sex or masturbate without her. But enforced chastity wouldn’t be “enforced” without physical restraint.
The same is true about other power exchanges. The fantasy and my belief in them is what makes them work. Yes, a spanking from Mrs. Lion really hurts…a lot. But she is only spanking me because she knows that’s what I want. I accept it in the belief that she is wielding her power over me. That’s what makes it exciting.
My point is that in order for any of this to really work, we both have to play roles. We understand the underlying reality, but we choose to suspend belief in that and instead, believe the power exchange. It’s not what she does, but how she plays her role that keeps things exciting.
Some keyholders and caged males will argue that the FLR and enforced chastity is real. It isn’t role playing. I disagree. The power exchange is real in terms of who locks what up and who makes decisions. But the power exchange is consensual. The caged male can decide to stop any or all of it and that is what has to happen. Doing so may have real world consequences in terms of the relationship, but the power exchange is truly consensual.
The better the keyholder understands the importance of the theater, the more effectively she will play her role. For example, there is a big difference between, “You broke a rule. Turn over for your spanking.” and instead at dinner,
“You know you did XXX wrong, don’t you?”
“Do you know what will happen after dinner?”
“You will spank me?”
“Yes. You’ve been naughty.”
The conversation can be more elaborate, but you get the point. It’s the dialogue that serves the power exchange as much as the painful spanking. Effective top/bottom dialogue has a magic way of converting routine play into strongly anticipated events.
In the case of power exchange, words are at least as strong as actions. It’s fine for the caged male or disciplined husband to forget that this is theater. But when his keyholder / disciplining wife forgets, things don’t go as well.
“in order for any of this to really work, we both have to play roles. We understand the underlying reality, but we choose to suspend belief”
Very interesting point. FLR and enforced chastity is really all in our heads. When you think about it, this is true. The greatest sex organ of all is the brain.
We’re finding that when we “forget” this, the quality of our sex life diminishes. Sometimes I wish it were all just natural and instinctive and that we couldn’t be any other way. That’s not the case. I think that the only truly instinctual sex is a quick, reproductive hump. Everything else is by design and not really by nature.
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