Wednesday afternoon I went to the dentist because a crown fell out.I figured that all that would be needed was to glue it back in. Unfortunately, the loss was caused by a fracture of the underlying tooth. So, I was sent off for a root canal. If you’ve ever gone through this procedure you know that it is fairly traumatic. I slept through the actual work thanks to some laughing gas. When I woke up they gave me some potent pain medication. But that’s not the point. In the midst of the discomfort in my drug-induced haze, Mrs. Lion and I were talking. She was making sense; me not so much. Anyway, she made the passing comment that I am possessive. I said that I didn’t think so, She said, “Of course you are.”
I asked how she knew. She told me that I never like it when she goes off with friends from work. I don’t know what I answered, but I disagreed. Yesterday, when the drugs were out of my system, I realized that the reason I don’t like her going out is that I get lonely. It’s true that I don’t want to share her, but more than that I am greedy. I want every minute I can get to be with her. A light goes out inside me when I’m not with her.
What does this have to do with enforced chastity? Not a damn thing. Or does it? For well over a year we have both written many times how we feel closer thanks to our enforced chastity power exchange. I’ve wondered how withholding sex would achieve such a valuable benefit. Yesterday I think that I finally figured it out. Enforced chastity creates a dependency. I am totally dependent on Mrs. Lion for any sexual stimulation. More importantly, she knows it.
She knows how much I like sex. She understands that I am completely at her mercy. She accepts this and makes sure I get what she knows I truly want. Enforced chastity is, for us, a gift we give one another. It may seem an odd one. Certainly, neither of us expected it. But both of us recognized what we had very shortly after we started.
It began with a fantasy of mine and her wish to make me happy. I suspect that enforced chastity starts this way for many couples. It’s admittedly an odd gift, but a gift it is. I bet you are wondering what the male’s gift is. It is profound vulnerability. His gift isn’t control of his sex. It’s revealing a profound desire that he is almost certain she will not accept.
In the beginning most likely neither realize the true nature of the transaction. They both take it at face value: sexual control. They may never learn the true depth of what they are doing; what we are doing. Maybe enforced chastity isn’t a profound experience for everyone. Maybe it’s just us. I don’t think so. I think that it would be difficult to sustain enforced chastity without more than lockup and occasional release. There is certainly more for us. I’m grateful we started all this.