Learning Together

There are so many things I want to say today. First and foremost, the last thing in the world I want is for my lioness to feel that she is letting me down. In her post yesterday she said that my comment that I don’t get spanked in the kitchen any more meant she had failed to do something that would make me happy. She also worried that her lack of interest in orgasms was also hurting me. She went on to say that she knows intellectually it isn’t true that the key to my happiness is either of those things. She is right. They aren’t. I only want her to have orgasms so that she can enjoy the same pleasure she gives me. I want her to be happy more than anything in the world. As far as being spanked in the kitchen, well no that isn’t something I miss. It was just an observation because hanging on the refrigerator is a small, mean paddle intended for corrections on the spot; in this case, the kitchen. I saw it was gathering dust. That’s all.

She’s right. I do worry that someone younger, richer, smarter, better at initiating sex will come along and sweep her away. I know she loves me and even if that Prince Charming came along, she would stay with me. She is the most devoted, loyal person I have ever known. We trust each other completely. Unfortunately, that doesn’t stop her from worrying that she could be doing more to make me happy. The only way I can prevent her from feeling badly is to avoid telling her things she might interpret as a failing on her part. I don’t want to do that. I want to share all my thoughts with her. I never guessed that observing our kitchen paddle was gathering dust would make her feel inadequate. I had no idea that expressing my feelings of inadequacy about turning her on would have her turn that on herself.

I’m not saying that she has no right to these feelings and should feel badly for having them. That would make things worse. What I am saying is that she makes me happier than I have ever been in my life. A dusty paddle is not something that makes me unhappy. It’s just a dusty paddle. I do realize that when I express my concern about being the cause of her loss of libido  would make her sad. I understand it isn’t her fault or mine. It’s actually not unusual. Many women in their middle years experience this change. That’s why big pharma has been working so hard for a female sex pill. The current problem is all mine. As her mate, I feel guilty that she gives me so much sexual pleasure and I can’t return the favor. It’s a very good thing that we both recognize what is happening. While we still internalize each other’s problems, we also recognize that is what we are doing and we talk about it.

What does this have to do with FLM and enforced chastity? Everything! I suspect that for many couples, kink is a distraction; a way to do something different to avoid dealing with basic issues. In some cases it works very well. It can turn sexual lemons into lemonade. That’s what happened with us. Enforced chastity provided a great way to keep sex alive for me even though Mrs. Lion’s interest has waned. We went from avoiding sexual content to a very active enforced chastity relationship. We both love it. The same is true with FLM. Again we had complementary issues. I can just forge ahead without realizing I am not taking Mrs. Lion’s desires into account. I can interrupt her, just go ahead and make plans I like and she doesn’t, as well as many other thoughtless and selfish decisions. Mrs. Lion just accepted my choices and behavior even if it bothered her. Enter FLM and domestic discipline.

Now, Mrs. Lion knows she is making me happy when she catches me doing things that bother her. She knows I want her to punish me and teach me to follow her lead. I’m pretty headstrong. She has her hands full training me. We both take punishment seriously. Over time, she has increased the severity of her corrections and is becoming much more aware of offenses. We are still in the early stages. Mrs. Lion announced she is becoming much stricter and her punishments more meaningful. Stay tuned.