A great deal of what you read about enforced chastity talks about the transition into this new sexual state. Most of the attention is focused on devices, security, comfort, need to ejaculate, etc. It’s like much of the stuff you read online. The most words are written by people who have just discovered or tried whatever they are writing about.
Months ago, I stopped thinking about how my cage fits and whether or not I can pull out. In place of that stuff, I am thinking more and more about how enforced chastity affects our relationship. Mrs. Lion’s sexual motor isn’t running yet. Everything she writes is about my sexual frustration and satisfaction. Where is her pleasure? In the excitement of my fantasy coming true, it was easier to avoid asking that question. But as enforced chastity becomes our way of life, I can’t keep pushing that into the background.
It’s not just me. I think it is many of us. Mrs. Lion’s life hasn’t changed all that much. Well, it has in terms of her spending a lot more time thinking, writing, and doing things involving my chastity. She plans activities that she knows I want (if not like). She gives and gives, and gives. She gets exactly as much sex as she wants. She always did. I do my best to take care of her and give her everything she wants. I did that before getting caged. We had a happy marriage. We still do but with more work for Mrs. Lion. That makes me feel guilty.
This feeling isn’t provoked by anything Mrs. Lion has said or done. It’s there because I don’t feel that I am doing anything in return for all this extra attention. The problem with guilt is that it can cause behavior changes that are pretty destructive. One classic change is that the guilty party withdraws to avoid feeling more guilt. This is incredibly destructive. It’s like throwing gifts away because you feel badly that you don’t have one to return that is of equal value.
Another behavior is to reciprocate with unwelcome gifts of your own. Consider the very stereotypical scenario where a guy is caged and then puts all his sexual energy into getting his keyholder off all the time. That’s great if she wants that. But does she? Many times people won’t be honest about sexual things. She might be feeling guilty that you are guilty about not getting her off enough, so she goes along. This happens a lot.
Dealing with this, I think, requires a lot of communication. I have to be brave enough to keep asking Mrs. Lion if she feels she is doing too much. I need her to be honest when she answers. If she ends up agreeing that she is giving too much then we have to work together to see if there are ways to make both of us happy. If not, then I have to be prepared to give up some or all of my enforced chastity fantasy.
The reason I feel guilt is that Mrs. Lion means more to me than anything in the world. There is nothing I wouldn’t give up or change to make her happy. This has nothing at all to do with her authority as my keyholder and even less to do with my cage. It is all about where she stands in my life. She comes first. She always has and she always will.