lion penis with tiny clothespins
Mrs. Lion brought some of these tiny clothespins up to add to her toy bag. I need to be tied down to take them and the two in this image are the most Mrs. Lion was mean enough to use. She threatened to build a “crown” of them around my penis head. Mrs. Lion likes to point out that if they really hurt, I wouldn’t still be hard. Can;t argue with that.
Click for NSFW picture

Yesterday (Sunday), as promised Mrs. Lion put me in my sling. For me, this was a very different experience. She pointed out that I was still in my cage. I agreed. She then did some anal play. Normally, I like this play even if locked up. Though I think this is the first time I wasn’t aroused at the time. For some reason I just wasn’t turned on. The anal activity ranged from uncomfortable to outright painful. I usually love being strapped into the sling. This is the first time I didn’t. I can’t claim I wasn’t expecting it. Mrs. Lion made it clear we were going to do this today. We’ve done everything we did today in the past, both with me turned on and not turned on. So it isn’t anything Mrs. Lion did or didn’t do. It’s me.

For whatever reason I am very tired and not interested in sex. That is unusual for me. Maybe I am coming down with something. I don’t think it is that weird that there are times when I just don’t feel sexual. Granted, it’s rare, but it has happened. Knowing me, my desire for release will be at its usual high in a few hours.

I do think it was exactly right to go ahead with the anal activities. We only had to stop when it started to hurt. I want Mrs. Lion to continue her program regardless of my mood at the time. I like that a lot. It has to do with surrender of control. I am grateful she stopped when I asked and equally grateful she went ahead without worrying about my arousal. Great job!

Later, while I was making dinner, Mrs. Lion took our kitchen paddle (it hangs on a magnet on the fridge) and told me to bend over. I asked why. She told me that I had just announced I was taking a shower but hadn’t asked. Four very hard swats on my bare bottom. Later, she brought the nasty bloodwood paddle to our bed and told me I would get spanked later for dropping my napkin. Clearly she read my post yesterday. Another case of “be careful what you wish for.”

Earlier, while she was down in our dungeon, she picked up a handful of tiny, dollhouse clothespins. These little toys have a very strong grip applied to a tiny area (see image at right. Click it for NSFW full-color version). In the past, the most Mrs. Lion has applied to my cock was two. She threatened to create a “crown” of them around the head of my penis. She may need to gag me to do that. I imagine that she will start slow and work up to the full “crown”. At least I hope so.

Mrs. Lion might think that yesterday’s adventure was a failure. I don’t think so at all. She did exactly what she set out to do. She did take my reaction into account. I’m glad she did. But, she left me in my cage and didn’t worry about the state of my arousal. That’s real keyholder behavior! Thank you.

There are times when I wonder why I am locked into this chastity device. Those times usually occur when I want to pee or when it is quiet around here. I think to myself that I don’t really need this device to refrain from sexual activity, but I do like the idea that it isn’t my choice anymore. I also wonder if our sex life would revert to its former, unsatisfactory lull if the cage came off. Then I wonder how much of our success is due to the cage or the blog. Is writing about our adventure also forcing  us to actually have the adventure?

One thing for sure: without either or both of these things, I am not convinced we would maintain our current progress. I think that Mrs. Lion believes this too. Is it a bad thing that we apparently need these props? I’m undecided there. One area of concern for me is that we seem to be slipping on goals. Mrs. Lion wrote that she wants one orgasm a week. The week ends today and none so far. I have broken rules without a painful reminder to do better. I also didn’t point out these transgressions like I usually do.

We are both missing lots of little things we said we would do. Does that mean something? Did we bite off more than we can chew? One thing I’ve learned about myself is that I love consistency. When I am in charge, I keep things focused in a way that I find comfortable. In the past, when I surrendered control, I found myself getting upset when things didn’t go as they were supposed to. When I was younger, I would even regress and pout when that happened. That behavior was the main reason I decided I should top instead of bottom.

So, if Mrs. Lion doesn’t punish me for breaking a rule, how should I react? Or, if I don’t get any anal training, should I be upset? As an adult, I know that I shouldn’t. Mrs. Lion has a tough job being my keyholder. And, truthfully, I’m not upset when those things are missed. When a lot of things are missed and I can’t see the reason, I worry that things are not working for us again. Maybe the cage and the blog aren’t enough.

When we first started with enforced chastity, I worried that the very big difference in our sexual interest would cause things to go back to their former sexual isolation. After being caged nine months, it hasn’t happened yet. But there are warning signs; at least it seems to me there are. That’s where my problem lies. Is this just my old, overemotional reaction to loss of power, or is it an accurate analysis of recent activity? I know that Mrs. Lion loves me and wants to make me happy. That isn’t in question. But I also know that my lockup and her role as keyholder are things I want, not her. I also know that if I mention this to her, she will apologize and say she will do better. I really don’t want that. So what do I want?

I’ve been thinking about this for a while. Short of converting her into a sex-crazed dominatrix, I want us to settle into a consistent, comfortable pattern that we can sustain as long as we want. I want new things added to the old, not the new and old disappearing. For me, it’s better to have a few consistent activities, rules, etc. that I can rely on than a shopping list of stuff we don’t end up doing.

Every single goal that Mrs. Lion set for herself represents to me, a very good idea and something that has the promise of becoming a regular part of our lives. I dearly want to know that I can give Mrs. Lion some orgasms every week. I love that at least every other day she does some sort of play with me. I do like rules and discipline, but only if consistent. And no, I’m not being a toddler wanting everything at once. I just want to be able to count on what I am told will happen. That’s still really important to me.

I know that I’m caged for the long term and it doesn’t really matter if I worry, hate the cage, or wish we could have more fun. That’s the thing about surrender; it means that what I want or how I feel doesn’t really count, at least in terms of what Mrs. Lion wants me to do. I know she cares deeply about how I feel about things. But my surrender doesn’t require her to care, or for that matter, be consistent or work toward her goals. As my keyholder, those things are purely up to her. My challenge is to learn to gracefully accept whatever I happen to get.

It’s noon on Saturday and I realized a few minutes ago that I didn’t have a post for today. Sometimes I struggle to find things to write about. You’ve probably noticed, from time to time, I don’t have a post on weekends. Since I usually write them the morning they are published, I frequently don’t have time depending on what we’re doing that particular weekend. There are times that Lion has posts stacked up three deep already scheduled and ready to go. He then has the option of publishing as planned or preempting for a more timely post. I’m jealous of his ability to do that. Of course, when I think about it, it makes sense that he can. This is his “thing”. He has ideas and experience with many things kinky. My posts are more reactionary and along the lines of reporting the news.

Today is a slow news day. Last night was a laid back night. It frequently is after Lion’s had an orgasm. He may be horny, but he’s not grumbly yet and, although I know he would enjoy the attention, playing was not necessarily on his mind. He’s mellow. By tonight he’ll be on the prowl again, so to speak. So I better have some ideas ready for him. After his reward Thursday night, with all the activity surrounding his orgasm, whatever I do will probably be a letdown. There’s no way I can sustain that amount of play every other night. And I don’t think I should feel any pressure to.

I think that’s actually a revelation for me. I shouldn’t feel pressure. Where did that come from? I’m pretty sure the confident part of me is always thinking, “He’s lucky I ever unlock him!” Unfortunately, the uncertain part of me thinks, “You have to do better!” Guess which one wins most of the time. So far today, the tiny confident part is winning. I don’t have any plans to rock Lion’s world tonight. I was toying with the idea of putting him on a regimen of an orgasm every other day, but then I figured that would get boring very quickly. He didn’t like it when he came every night for a week or so. I can’t imagine every other night would be much different. And that’s a lot of pressure on me too. I like to make each time a little different. Even if I give him a blow job twice in a row, I try to vary the technique a little. I doubt he would ever think a blow job is boring, but why take a chance.

So, under no pressure to meet or exceed the activities of Thursday night, tomorrow may very well be another slow news day. But you never know.

clothespins on penis
Here I am with clothespins on my poor penis. (click image for non-blurred picture)

Thursday night I got my promised reward. As she predicted, I chose being restrained to the bed. I love that! She did say that I only got one wish. What happens after that was, of course, up to her. So, Mrs. Lion got out the leather cuffs and the straps we have for tying me down. To my surprise, she wanted to tie me down face up.

Once I was secured to the bed, Mrs. Lion went to the spare bedroom and brought back her big ziplock bag of cock and ball toys. Uh oh! In that bag, she had several kinds of clothespins. They range from rather mild wooden clothespins to very painful plastic ones. From my position (flat on my back, tied spread-eagle) I couldn’t see what she was doing. I certainly felt it.  She had chosen the painful, plastic clothespins (See image, right – click on the image for explicit view).

She spent a lot of time putting them on, pulling on them, taking them off and moving them. She also made sure I remained hard. It was very intense. Finally, she removed the clothespins and began masturbating me. She brought me to the edge a couple of times. I was so hot! To my complete surprise, she kept going and let me have a full orgasm.

Afterward, she said she was doing an experiment. She wanted to find out if I produced more semen after substantial teasing. She said she wasn’t sure I did. I pointed out that she had enough to get a good taste herself and then enough to give me a nice amount to swallow. She considered that and agreed that I did produce more than usual. I suspect she thought I would gush. I think that increasing that production would require more activity, perhaps edging an hour or so before actual release.

It had only been two days since my scheduled release on September 30. I was very surprised she let me orgasm. What a truly exceptional reward!