In her Thursday post Mrs. Lion wrote about her concerns about giving me an orgasm too soon. She also wrote about the fact that she finds it pointless to wait too long. She said:
“Besides, if I wanted to deny him that long we could have just continued with our previous state of sexual relations. I could have let him take care of himself.“
Interesting point. She equates our pre-cage sex life with extended waits. I have to agree that it was indeed like that, but I had no idea that she thought of it that way. I didn’t think she was aware of it at all. More telling is that we both realize that forced chastity actually increased the amount of sexual activity we have. I don’t think we are unique. The supreme irony of forced male chastity is that couples who practice it tend to have more and better sex than they did before. There are exceptions to this. Some couples enjoy extended waiting with the caged male going months or even years without an orgasm. Even in these cases, the relationship is not sexless. The caged male is often teased and his partner regularly satisfied without permitting the male to come. The key is that sexual awareness and activity seem to increase with male chastity.
I know that “taking care” of myself loses a lot of pleasure after a while. It should. If masturbating was too much fun, we wouldn’t need partners. The species would die out. I know that in my pre-cage days I wouldn’t masturbate very regularly. Pressure would build up each day I went without release and the internal debate was always about whether it was worth the trouble. If I had a particularly hot fantasy, then it was worth it. But usually I elected not to masturbate. Even though I wouldn’t masturbate to orgasm, I liked getting hard. I made a point of getting hard in the shower. It was fun and way easier to be sure I got all the nooks and crannies nice and clean. Interactive sex was very infrequent. We could go months without anything. I hated that.
I also felt very guilty that I wasn’t aggressively initiating sex with Mrs. Lion. I always imagined her interest in sex is the same as mine. For some reason I can’t get it through my head she could want less, a lot less. She’s written about that here, but deep down inside I think it’s my fault. If I were a more aggressive lover she would crave sex all the time. I truly believe that. Each time she gets me off I feel guilty that I can’t give her the same pleasure.
Because she is such a good person, Mrs. Lion tries to have more interest in her own orgasms. I know she does this because it bothers me that I don’t turn her into a horny sex machine. I know on a conscious level that she is responsible for her feelings and getting what she needs. I believe her when she says she gets her sexual pleasure from my orgasms. But deep down I believe it is my fault she doesn’t have more fun. She needs to know that this isn’t her problem. She doesn’t need to change because of my fragile, male ego.
This is where my caging is playing a very positive role. We are communicating more. More importantly, Mrs. Lion is learning not to feel guilty when I grumble about being horny. She is learning to enjoy it and cheerfully telling me to wait. In the bad old days if I let it be known I was horny, I think she felt an obligation to get me off. Also if we played spanked me, did cock and ball torture, or anal play she felt obligated to provide a “happy ending” by jerking me off or giving me oral sex. She mentioned that in her post.
I have to admit that I always did get an orgasm at the end of bottoming and I always gave one to women I topped. But in the context of being caged, that expectation has to be forgotten. In my new role, orgasms are given to me when Mrs. Lion decides she wants me to come. Similarly, spankings and anal training are like teasing; she administers them as a way to keep me focused on my need to come and her absolute control over when I finally get that pleasure.
In some relationships, the cage is used as a tool to encourage the male to transfer his pleasure from his penis to unselfish gifts to his keyholder. The orgasm may start as a reward for being a good boy, but often becomes almost unnecessary as the transfer of male pleasure continues. Mrs. Lion has made it clear that isn’t her goal. It was never the motivation I had to ask her to cage me. We are evolving in a different direction. Mrs. Lion keeps me waiting until she decides the time is right. Apparently there are no rules to determine how long it will be. It’s at her pleasure. I love that. It’s exactly what I want.
Of course, there is more. I have expressed my desire for teasing and play. Mrs. Lion has embraced that by setting goals for herself and for me. She has committed to anal training that will develop my ability to accept and retain larger objects including her hand. She is edging me almost every other day and is spanking me more frequently. These are things I love to hate. One area that we haven’t explored consistently is discipline. It may be that even though it is something I always thought I wanted, it just won’t work in reality for us. I’m fine with that. I admit that I would like to get some orgasms as rewards for good behavior. I’m not entirely sure why, but the thought is a turn on. Again, it is just a fantasy and I am not that concerned if we don’t make it real.
The fact is that I love what we are doing. Things have gotten a lot better in the last six months. Right now I would love to jerk off. Thinking about all this and telling you has turned me on. Oh well, eventually Mrs. Lion will let me orgasm. It will be much better than anything I could do alone.